Positive And Negative

Band 7+: Many aspects of the way people dress today are influenced by global fashion trends. How has global fashion become such a strong influence on people's lives? Do you think this is a positive or negative development? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

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It is said that fashion trends from around the world influence the way society dresses nowadays.

Global fashion plays such a crucial role in people’s lives nowadays due to various reasons. The main reason is that fashion is now a way to express one’s sense of self, in other words, identity. Everyone dresses differently based on preferences and likings. For instance, fashionistas love to dress lavishly whereas people who are not interested in fashion prefer to dress simple. Moreover, because it is a way to showcase one’s identity, fashion has become one of the many reasons why people interact with each other. Due to global fashion and social media, people, especially younger generations, find it easy to make long lasting friends as most of them were formed through shared interests such as fashion.

I believe that this is a positive effect. One of reasons why I believe so is because in modern times, a lot of people feel more confident expressing themselves than they did in the past. Humans crave community and validation. Even if a person was daring enough to show their truest selves, they would not have been as confident as they do now without social media and its role in connecting people. Furthermore, global fashion has sparked creativity in society. Without limitations and restrictions, designers are able to create more freely. This being said, fashion in today’s times sees more use in different types of fabrics, textures, and styles compared to the past.

In conclusion, global fashion has a strong influence on people’s lives because of its ability to enable people to be themselves and the connection it brings. I agree with this statement as it promotes creativity and helps people feel more confident in themselves.

Word Count: 289

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Overall Band Score

(+/- 0.5)

Vocabulary Complexity:
C1 - Intricate
Strive to incorporate even richer and more precise language.

Grammar Mistakes: N/A

Vocabulary Repetition:

fashion: 9

people: 7

reasons: 3

because: 3

global: 3

confident: 3

themselves: 3

Try using synonyms for the above words

Task Response

The essay appropriately addresses the prompt and presents a clear and developed position. The ideas are relevant and supported with examples. To improve, consider adding more specific examples and elaborating further on the negative aspects, even if you ultimately conclude it's a positive development. This would demonstrate a more nuanced understanding of the topic.

Coherence & Cohesion

The essay is generally well-organized with a clear introduction, body paragraphs, and conclusion. The ideas are presented logically, and the use of cohesive devices such as 'moreover,' 'furthermore,' and 'in conclusion' helps to connect the sentences and paragraphs. However, there are instances where the transitions could be smoother to enhance the flow of the essay. For example, elaborating more on how fashionistas dress lavishly and how it connects to identity would improve coherence. Consider adding more specific examples to strengthen the arguments.

Lexical Resource

The essay demonstrates a good range of vocabulary, using words like 'fashionistas,' 'lavishly,' 'craves,' and 'validation' appropriately. However, there is room for improvement in using more sophisticated and nuanced language to express ideas more precisely. For instance, instead of 'dress simple,' consider using 'dress minimally' or 'adopt a minimalist style.' Expanding the range of vocabulary related to fashion and its impact would further enhance the essay. Pay attention to vocabulary repetition to improve the overall score.

Grammatical Range & Accuracy

The essay demonstrates a good command of grammar with a variety of sentence structures. There are a few minor errors, but they do not significantly impede understanding. For example, 'One of reasons why I believe so is because...' could be rephrased as 'One reason I believe this is...' or 'I believe this because...'. Pay attention to sentence structure and word choice to ensure clarity and precision. Proofreading carefully can help eliminate these minor errors.

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