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Band 7+: Many companies sponsor sports as a way to advertise themselves. Some people think this is good for the world of sports, while others think there are disadvantages of this. Discuss both sides and give your opinion

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Sports sponsorship done by companies often spark debate over whether it is beneficial versus harmful for their reputation and sports. This essay will examine both perspectives before presenting my opinion.

There are various factors that contribute to the belief that sports sponsorship should be given by companies. Firstly, this plays as a fruitful financial support to sports, creating more opportunities for players and organizers. Spotify, for example, has been a pioneer in sports sponsorship in diverse football matches worldwide, providing football kit and other amenities to the tournament. In other words, these funds and resources dedicated by firms cultivate a strong financial foundation of sports. Additionally, receiving sponsorship also means that sports promotion may be effectively operated. Public transports and advertisements, which illustrate sports teams and players’ posters and images, may be visible for residents including both sports enthusiasts and non-fan. These marketing strategies aim to increase sports reputation, being long-term advantageous for sports.

In contrast, sports sponsorship is risky for several reasons. Advocates to this view contend that it compromises the integrity of sports. Sports may be commercialized by the production of teams and players’ goods, which is not consistently being the right purpose of sponsorship. As a result, consumers tend to purchase without any knowledge of either the companies or the sports teams, merely because of its profitable values. Furthermore, some corporations may take the advantages of sports to promote their unhealthy products such as cigarettes, beers and wines. Eventually, this unsuitable advertising way may extremely tarnish sports and players’ reputation.

In conclusion, while sports sponsorship creates wealthy opportunities in finance and promotion, the drawbacks of it should not be ignored. Personally, I assume that the government should be responsible for the control of this issue, leading to a more transparent and entertaining sports community.

Word Count: 297

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Overall Band Score

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Vocabulary Complexity:
C2 - Complex
Continue to challenge and refine your language choices.

Grammar Mistakes: N/A

Vocabulary Repetition:

sports: 18

sponsorship: 7

companies: 3

should: 3

teams: 3

players': 3

Try using synonyms for the above words

Task Response

The essay addresses the prompt by discussing both views on sports sponsorship and providing an opinion. The ideas are relevant, but the support for some ideas lacks precision. To improve, ensure that examples are clearly linked to the points being made and that the potential negative impacts of sponsorship are explored in more detail.

Coherence & Cohesion

The essay presents a clear argument and follows a logical structure, discussing both sides of the issue and providing a personal opinion. However, some transitions could be smoother to enhance the flow of ideas. For example, in the second paragraph, the transition from the general statement about financial support to the Spotify example could be more explicit. Similarly, the transition into the discussion of marketing strategies could be improved. In the third paragraph, the connection between commercialization and the 'right purpose of sponsorship' could be clarified further. Overall, while the essay is coherent, refining these transitions would make the argument even easier to follow.

Lexical Resource

The essay demonstrates a good range of vocabulary, using words like 'fruitful,' 'cultivate,' 'integrity,' and 'tarnish' appropriately. However, there are instances where the word choice could be more precise or natural. For example, 'being long-term advantageous' could be rephrased for better impact. Consider exploring synonyms and alternative expressions to elevate the sophistication of your vocabulary further. Also, ensure that the vocabulary used is consistently accurate and fits the context perfectly. Pay attention to vocabulary repetition to improve the overall score.

Grammatical Range & Accuracy

The essay demonstrates a good command of grammar, with a variety of sentence structures used. However, there are some grammatical errors and phrasing issues that affect clarity. For example, 'Sports sponsorship done by companies often spark debate' could be improved for subject-verb agreement. Also, 'Advocates to this view contend that it compromises the integrity of sports' could be rephrased for better flow and grammatical accuracy. Pay close attention to subject-verb agreement, article usage, and sentence structure to enhance the grammatical accuracy of your writing.

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