Cause And Solution

Band 4+: Many countries are experiencing an increase in crime rates. What are the causes of this trend, and what effects does it have on society?

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Most of countries around the world has been an increasing in crime rates. However, this essay will be disscus abouth the cause of this trend and the negatif impact for people around the world.

Firstly, a lot of countries around the world has an increasing crime, because todays the crime around the world release new crime like scammer in social media and a thife. Scammer of social media is the important think crime todays, because a lot of people in different countries still did not know much about technology, whic is make them easier to get scam in social media. Secondly, thief is a problem in the crime aroud of all decade, whic is make the thife has a lot of crime in the world and the goverment still can not stop that, or just a reduce for this crime.

On the beginning, an increase the crime around the world make a lot of negatif impact for reputation country and effects for society in that country. For some reason who country has a lot of crime can not be attract some tourist, because the tourist know about that country has a lot crime and make their did not feel same. On the other side, the negative impact for society in that country can affect their behaviour, because the people in who live in that country did not trust each other and make their an environment in that area has a bad behaviour.

Overall, countries who has an increase in crime rates need to reduce that, because it can affect for country and can impact to fo society who lives in that country.

Word Count: 272

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Overall Band Score

(+/- 0.5)

Vocabulary Complexity:
B2 - Upper Intermediate
Opt for even more advanced words when appropriate.

Grammar Mistakes: N/A

Vocabulary Repetition:

crime: 11

country: 8

around: 5

world: 5

because: 5

countries: 4

impact: 4

people: 3

social: 3

media: 3

society: 3

their: 3

Try using synonyms for the above words

Task Response

The essay addresses the main parts of the prompt but incompletely. A position is presented, but the development is not always clear. Main ideas are limited and not sufficiently developed. There is some repetition. To improve, focus on providing more specific examples and elaborating on the causes and effects of increased crime rates. Also, work on improving the clarity and precision of your language.

Coherence & Cohesion

The essay lacks clear organization and logical flow. The ideas are not well-connected, and the paragraphing is weak. Transitions between sentences and paragraphs are often missing or ineffective, making it difficult for the reader to follow the argument. To improve coherence, focus on structuring your essay with a clear introduction, body paragraphs that each address a specific point, and a concise conclusion. Use transition words and phrases to link your ideas and ensure a smooth flow of thought. Each paragraph should have a clear topic sentence that introduces the main idea, followed by supporting evidence and explanation.

Lexical Resource

The vocabulary used is limited and often inaccurate. There are instances of incorrect word choice and imprecise language, which affect the clarity of the essay. To enhance your lexical resource, focus on expanding your vocabulary and using a wider range of words and phrases. Pay attention to the nuances of meaning and choose words that accurately convey your intended message. Practice using new vocabulary in context to ensure correct usage. Consider using a thesaurus to find synonyms, but always check the meaning and usage in a dictionary to avoid errors. Pay attention to vocabulary repetition to improve the overall score.

Grammatical Range & Accuracy

The essay contains numerous grammatical errors, including incorrect verb tenses, subject-verb agreement issues, and improper use of articles and prepositions. These errors significantly impede understanding. To improve your grammatical accuracy, focus on mastering basic grammar rules and practicing sentence construction. Review verb tenses, subject-verb agreement, and the correct use of articles and prepositions. Proofread your work carefully to identify and correct errors. Consider using online grammar checkers or seeking feedback from a teacher or tutor to identify areas for improvement.

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