Discussion

Band 4+: Many species of animals all around the world are on the verge of extinction. Some say that countries and individuals should protect these animals from dying out, while others say that we should concentrate more on the problems of human beings. Discuss both viewpoints and give your opinion.

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From all over the world, now a days several species of animals are on a serious life threaten danger where some of this becomes vanished from the earth. Some individuals give opinions that countries along with peoples, should protect them form danger whereas some of the others are said, everybody should concentrate to overcome the obstacle faces by human beings are more important. In the eassay, i would discuss both the point with necessary explanation.

Over the time period, animals are vanished in a dramatic way. Some species has been extinct in way that we could not even find their exhistence without knowing the history. This reduction of animals directly connected with modern civilization and climate change. For instance, royal bengal tiger is the most historic animal considering for the bangladesh’s sundarban which also consider one of the biggest mangrove forest. Therefore, the number of royal bengal tiger reduced day by day in such way that, now its has reached a fewer portion. The reason behind this decreasing is, people are now tend to cut tress and make them that place into civilized form which may affect the climate and the forest get shorter in position which is why tigers are reduced in numbers. If we are not aware of this incident as soon as possible, then it may affect to our biggest mangrove forest as well as , the reduction of royal bengal tiger will damage to our world heritage.

On the other hand, problems faced by human being should be the center of the concentration which is followed by some peoples. In this modern era , to upgrade daily life it can be said that people are focusing on technologies, science rather than environmental issues. For example, people now obsessed with artifial intelligence and its usage that make their life easier.But on the other side it can affect negitively on their life as well to make a huge effect on job market.

In conclusion, climate change should be the focus for everone as it affected on daily life and the other species as well and the changes faced by individuals can also be resolved.

Word Count: 356

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Overall Band Score

(+/- 0.5)

Vocabulary Complexity:
C1 - Intricate
Strive to incorporate even richer and more precise language.

Grammar Mistakes: N/A

Vocabulary Repetition:

should: 4

which: 4

species: 3

animals: 3

their: 3

climate: 3

royal: 3

bengal: 3

tiger: 3

forest: 3

people: 3

affect: 3

other: 3

Try using synonyms for the above words

Task Response

The essay addresses both sides of the argument, but the development of ideas is inconsistent. While you provide an example regarding the Royal Bengal Tiger, the connection between animal extinction and human problems is not clearly explored in the second body paragraph. The second viewpoint (focusing on human problems) is presented very briefly and lacks depth, making it feel underdeveloped. Additionally, your personal opinion is mentioned in the conclusion but is not clearly established throughout the essay, which is necessary for a 'discuss both views and give your opinion' prompt. To improve, ensure that each body paragraph fully explores the 'why' and 'how' of the viewpoint being discussed. For the second viewpoint, you should provide specific examples of human problems (such as poverty, hunger, or disease) and explain why some people believe these should take precedence over animal conservation. Most importantly, make sure your position is clear from the introduction through to the conclusion to maintain a consistent stance.

Coherence & Cohesion

The essay follows a basic structure with an introduction, body paragraphs, and a conclusion. However, the progression of ideas is often interrupted by awkward phrasing and grammatical errors. The connection between sentences is sometimes weak, making it difficult for the reader to follow the logic smoothly. To improve, focus on using cohesive devices (like 'Furthermore', 'However', 'Consequently') more effectively and ensure that each paragraph has a clear, central topic sentence that guides the reader.

Lexical Resource

The vocabulary used is somewhat limited and often repetitive. There are several instances of incorrect word choices (e.g., 'life threaten danger', 'becomes vanished', 'fewer portion') and spelling errors ('eassay', 'exhistence', 'tress', 'artifial'). To reach a higher band, aim to use a wider range of precise vocabulary and collocations. Instead of using simple words like 'big' or 'bad', try more academic alternatives like 'significant', 'substantial', or 'detrimental'. Always proofread to avoid spelling mistakes. Boost vocabulary complexity to elevate the overall score.

Grammatical Range & Accuracy

Grammatical errors are frequent and occur in almost every sentence. There are significant issues with subject-verb agreement (e.g., 'Some species has been', 'people are now tend to'), article usage, and sentence structure. Many sentences are fragmented or run-on, which obscures the intended meaning. I recommend studying fundamental grammar rules, particularly verb tenses, pluralization, and sentence construction, to ensure that your ideas are communicated clearly and accurately.

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Band 4+: Many species of animals all around the world are on the verge of extinction. Some say that countries and individuals should protect these animals from dying out, while others say that we should concentrate more on the problems of human beings. Discuss both viewpoints and give your opinion.

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Task Response

Coherence & Cohesion

Lexical Resource

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Essays On The Same Topic:

Many species of animals all around the world are on the verge of extinction. Some say that countries and individuals should protect these animals from dying out, while others say that we should concentrate more on the problems of human beings. Discuss both viewpoints and give your opinion.

Many species of animals all around the world are on the verge of extinction. Some say that countries and individuals should protect these animals from dying out, while others say that we should concentrate more on the problems of human beings. Discuss both viewpoints and give your opinion.

Many species of animals all around the world are on the verge of extinction. Some say that countries and individuals should protect these animals from dying out, while others say that we should concentrate more on the problems of human beings. Discuss both viewpoints and give your opinion.

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Some people believe that living in cities offers more advantages than disadvantages, while others prefer rural areas.

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Task Response

Coherence & Cohesion

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