Opinion

Band 4+: Many young people today spend too much time on social media. What problems does this cause, and what solutions can you suggest?

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In today’s fast-paced world, many teenagers use social media a lot. It has become one of the most pressing issues in the world. This problem is that not only wastes time but also it disrupts students’ study and harms their brain so it does not function very long term. However if they spend more time with reading book and other physical activities it will be beneficial for their life.

One of the most problem is that some teens feel freely and they want to use social media too much, but they don’t know that their knowledge can decrease due to watching short videos from apps for instance Instagram YouTube and others

Another problem is that the younger generation is addicted to social media as a result, it leads to some health issues such as eye disease and vision problems. If they do not receive treatment, it will bring negative effects.

There are several ways to solve this work. Firstly, adolescents’ phones should be checked by their parents every day. They ought to set limit on the amount of time teenagers spend on social media.Moreover They must go to the mountain with their relatives as a result that event won’t be unuseful. If they do these kind of activities. idditionaly It assist them in walking over the cliff.

In conclusion, using social media has negative sides like eye disease, and every children tent to watch reels from this one. To solve this, struggle is giving limit to them by parents. It would be a great idea if they save children from the phone.

Word Count: 262

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Overall Band Score

(+/- 0.5)

Vocabulary Complexity:
B1 - Intermediate
Using more sophisticated words could be beneficial.

Grammar Mistakes: N/A

Vocabulary Repetition:

social: 5

their: 5

media: 4

problem: 3

Try using synonyms for the above words

Task Response

The essay addresses the first part of the prompt (social media) but completely ignores the second topic provided (work-related stress). This is a significant error as the response is only partially relevant to the provided input. Regarding the social media topic, a position is present, but the development of ideas is limited and often lacks clarity. Some arguments, such as the suggestion to 'go to the mountain' or 'walking over the cliff,' are confusing and do not logically support the solution to social media addiction. To improve, ensure you only address one specific prompt if multiple are provided, or clarify which one you are answering. Focus on developing ideas logically: if you suggest a solution, explain exactly how it solves the problem. Work on sentence structure and coherence to ensure that your supporting examples directly relate to the main points being made.

Coherence & Cohesion

The essay follows a basic structure with an introduction, body paragraphs, and a conclusion, but the progression of ideas is often disjointed. There is a lack of smooth transitions between sentences, and some ideas appear abrupt or irrelevant (for example, the mention of 'walking over the cliff'). To improve, focus on using cohesive devices (e.g., 'Furthermore', 'Consequently', 'In addition') more effectively and ensure that every sentence logically supports the main point of the paragraph.

Lexical Resource

The vocabulary used is quite limited and often repetitive. There are several instances of incorrect word choices (e.g., 'feel freely' instead of 'feel free', 'solve this work' instead of 'solve this problem', and 'unuseful' instead of 'useless'). Additionally, some phrasing is unnatural. To improve, try to learn collocations (words that naturally go together) and expand your range of synonyms to avoid repeating the same terms like 'social media' or 'problem' too frequently. Boost vocabulary complexity to elevate the overall score.

Grammatical Range & Accuracy

The essay contains frequent grammatical errors that occasionally impede communication. Issues include subject-verb agreement, incorrect sentence structures (e.g., 'This problem is that not only wastes time'), and errors in pluralization (e.g., 'every children'). There is also a lack of control over complex sentence structures. To improve, practice using subordinate clauses correctly and focus on mastering basic sentence mechanics, such as punctuation and tense consistency.

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Band 4+: Many young people today spend too much time on social media. What problems does this cause, and what solutions can you suggest?

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Overall Band Score

Task Response

Coherence & Cohesion

Lexical Resource

Grammatical Range & Accuracy

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Many young people today spend too much time on social media. What problems does this cause, and what solutions can you suggest?

Many young people today spend too much time on social media. What problems does this cause, and what solutions can you suggest?

Many young people today spend too much time on social media. What problems does this cause, and what solutions can you suggest?

Many young people today spend too much time on social media. What problems does this cause, and what solutions can you suggest?

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