Advantage And Disadvantage

Band 5+: Nowadays people prefer to have children later in their life. Why is this happening? Do the advantages of this trend outweigh the disadvantages? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

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current time, a large number of people intend to have Children later in Their lite.This trend may be the some result of notable reason. In addition, while I accept that there are several drawbacks, I think these are outweighed by The benefits.

On the one hand, there are some positive aspects why young people want to delay childbirth. Perhaps the main advantage is that they can enjoy quality time in their comfort zone. In other words, without havings babies means they do noy have any extra hastle. As a result they find enough time to Take care Themselves and enjoy with their mood. Moreover, without having babies also give chance to progress their carrer rapidly. This is because the job market is becoming more and more compatative.They need to concentrate work Properly to maintain position. If they donot focus their work, they can not stay in their same position.For example, a recent study has reveled that most of the workers Who don’t have babies are in a strong position in the job market.

on the other hand, there are some drawbacks of this trend. The first disadvantage is that they might be suffering from health problem or event death. Recently a news report Published by the BBC said that many older parients face dificulties when trying to have a child. In addition, another demarits of having babies in later life is that parents do not receive proper care in old age. To clarify, children stay in small when their parents are in old age. In this time, they do not earn money so that they can not take care of their parents.

To conclude, I reiterate that there are several reasons why young people wan to delay childbirth. I would argue that the benefits at this trend have more than compensated for the drawbacks.

Word Count: 304

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Overall Band Score

5.5

(+/- 0.5)

Vocabulary Complexity:
B1 - Intermediate
Using more sophisticated words could be beneficial.

Grammar Mistakes: N/A

Vocabulary Repetition:

their: 8

there: 4

babies: 4

people: 3

trend: 3

drawbacks: 3

Try using synonyms for the above words

Task Response

The essay addresses the prompt and presents a clear position. The ideas are relevant, but the support lacks some focus and precision. To improve, ensure each point is thoroughly explained and directly linked to the prompt. Providing more specific examples and elaborating on the consequences of each point would strengthen the arguments.

Coherence & Cohesion

The essay demonstrates some organization, but the progression of ideas is not always clear. Paragraphing is present, but the connection between sentences and paragraphs could be strengthened. Use more varied cohesive devices to improve the flow and clarity of your writing. For example, in the second paragraph, explicitly link the idea of enjoying 'quality time' to the decision to delay childbirth. In the third paragraph, provide a clearer transition between the health risks and the lack of care in old age.

Lexical Resource

The vocabulary used is somewhat limited and occasionally inaccurate ('compatative,' 'demarits'). There is an attempt to use more sophisticated vocabulary, but the execution is not always successful. Focus on using a wider range of vocabulary more accurately and appropriately. For example, instead of 'extra hastle,' consider using 'additional responsibilities' or 'burdens.' Also, ensure that the vocabulary you use is appropriate for the context. Boost vocabulary complexity to elevate the overall score.

Grammatical Range & Accuracy

The essay contains numerous grammatical errors, including incorrect verb tenses, subject-verb agreement issues, and incorrect article usage ('to have Children,' 'do noy have,' 'Take care Themselves'). Sentence structure is often simple and lacks complexity. Focus on improving your grammatical accuracy by reviewing basic grammar rules and practicing sentence construction. Pay attention to verb tenses, articles, and subject-verb agreement. Try to incorporate a wider range of sentence structures to enhance the complexity of your writing.

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