Advantage And Disadvantage

Band 4+: Nowadays, technology is increasingly being used to monitor what people are saying and doing. In many cases, the people being monitored are unaware that this is happening. Do you think the advantages of this development outweigh the disadvantages?

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Presently, there is an increasing cases of using technology to observe people’s speech and behaviour. Personally, I believe drawbacks outweigh advatages because of potential danger of breaking someone’s privacy.

On the one hand, technology can be used in police to monitor criminals and control them for citizen’s safety. Criminals who a menace to citizen’s lives and safety can be kept in special monitoring rooms where they can be observed by police and isolated from people using technology. As an example, cameras and speech-recording devises can be used to prevent prisoners from escaping or abusing other fellows. Therefore, the smart devices ensure peoples’ security.

On the other hand, these devices may be used in bad purposes and break someone’s privacy and security. If this technology would be accessed by people it might cause fatal accidents of breaking privacy and potential danger to someone’s live. For instance, it was revealed that some crazy fans of Jungkook were arrested due to stalking accidents by using drones. Thus, the potential harm of the technology cannot be overlooked.

In conclusion, there is a growing use of technology which can record people’s speech and behavior. Although it provides great benefits for citizen’s security and peaceful life, I believe drawbacks of potential danger for people’s live outweighs benefits.

Word Count: 211

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Overall Band Score

(+/- 0.5)

Vocabulary Complexity:
C2 - Complex
Continue to challenge and refine your language choices.

Grammar Mistakes: N/A

Vocabulary Repetition:

technology: 6

potential: 4

using: 3

people's: 3

danger: 3

someone's: 3

citizen's: 3

Try using synonyms for the above words

Task Response

The essay addresses the prompt and presents a clear position that disadvantages outweigh advantages. The main ideas are relevant and supported with examples, but the development is somewhat limited and lacks depth. The argument could be strengthened by providing more detailed reasoning and exploring the advantages more thoroughly. Additionally, there are some lapses in clarity and precision, such as vague statements and minor grammatical issues. To improve, focus on developing each point more fully and ensuring that the language is precise and accurate. The essay falls short of the required 250 words.

Coherence & Cohesion

The essay has a clear structure with an introduction, two body paragraphs, and a conclusion. However, the flow is sometimes disrupted by awkward phrasing and unclear pronoun references (e.g., 'they' in the first body paragraph). The use of cohesive devices is basic, and some transitions between ideas could be smoother. To improve, focus on using a wider range of linking words and ensuring each paragraph has a clear central topic with supporting details that logically connect.

Lexical Resource

The essay uses some appropriate vocabulary related to the topic (e.g., 'monitor', 'privacy', 'citizen's safety'), but there are several lexical errors and awkward word choices (e.g., 'advatages', 'devises', 'bad purposes', 'fatal accidents of breaking privacy'). The range of vocabulary is limited, and some phrases are repetitive. To improve, expand your vocabulary with more precise and varied terms, and pay attention to correct spelling and word forms. Use collocations naturally (e.g., 'invade privacy' instead of 'break privacy').

Grammatical Range & Accuracy

The essay contains numerous grammatical errors that affect clarity, including subject-verb agreement ('there is an increasing cases'), incorrect verb forms ('would be accessed', 'outweighs'), and missing articles. There are also punctuation issues and run-on sentences. The range of sentence structures is limited, with many simple sentences. To improve, practice using a variety of complex structures (e.g., conditional sentences, relative clauses) and review basic grammar rules such as subject-verb agreement and article usage. Proofreading for punctuation and sentence boundaries is also essential.

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Band 4+: Nowadays, technology is increasingly being used to monitor what people are saying and doing. In many cases, the people being monitored are unaware that this is happening. Do you think the advantages of this development outweigh the disadvantages?

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Overall Band Score

Task Response

Coherence & Cohesion

Lexical Resource

Grammatical Range & Accuracy

Essays On The Same Topic:

Nowadays, technology is increasingly being used to monitor what people are saying and doing. In many cases, the people being monitored are unaware that this is happening. Do you think the advantages of this development outweigh the disadvantages?

Nowadays, technology is increasingly being used to monitor what people are saying and doing. In many cases, the people being monitored are unaware that this is happening. Do you think the advantages of this development outweigh the disadvantages?

Nowadays, technology is increasingly being used to monitor what people are saying and doing. In many cases, the people being monitored are unaware that this is happening. Do you think the advantages of this development outweigh the disadvantages?

Nowadays, technology is increasingly being used to monitor what people are saying and doing. In many cases, the people being monitored are unaware that this is happening. Do you think the advantages of this development outweigh the disadvantages?

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