Opinion

Band 5+: People in senior positions should be compensated with significantly higher salaries than people in lower positions in the same company. Do you agree or disagree?

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In this modern era, in numerous number of nations seniors get paid higher as compared to juniors working in the similar firm. Some likeminded people thought that this is an unfair approach. While, juniors should be paid equally as they have better decision making, but, the knowledge of an experienced worker is more important and they also have more responsibilities as compared to juniors. So, the agreements points of this notion are overweighing its disagreement points.

The knowledge of an experienced employee is valued by the company. To elaborate this, senior employees have higher knowledge and experience as compared to interns. They have better decision making skills, so, they can help company better when company is facing a downturn. As a result and senior knows the results of their action and they can predict results which help a firm in decision making. Furthermore, leading roles have increased responsibilities and accountability than freshers. Everyday a senior manager have to suffer from mental pressure. They have to plan, organize, direct and control everyday tasks and have a pressure to meet goals of the company in a specific period of time. They assign tasks to their team and have to take regular feedback. As a result a senior positioned employee has to work hard and they suffer from health concerns.

In addition to this, freshers are the liability for the organization. In simple words, company has to expend money on new hired to train them. As the recently graduated does not have experience and knowledge about practical work exposure. The HR department has to train that employee which affects the productivity of the company. However, this may affect the morale of employee. To elaborate this, due to the income gaps between them young employees may get unsatisfied from their work which affects their productivity. Motivation is important factor that encourage an employee to work harder.

In conclusion, I want to maintain that senior employee get higher salary due to their knowledge and experience but the income gap affect the morale of employee.

Word Count: 339

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Overall Band Score

(+/- 0.5)

Vocabulary Complexity:
C1 - Intricate
Strive to incorporate even richer and more precise language.

Grammar Mistakes: N/A

Vocabulary Repetition:

employee: 7

company: 6

knowledge: 5

senior: 5

their: 5

higher: 3

compared: 3

juniors: 3

better: 3

decision: 3

making: 3

experience: 3

which: 3

Try using synonyms for the above words

Task Response

The essay addresses the prompt and presents a clear position (agreeing that higher salaries for senior positions are justified). The main ideas are relevant and supported with some development, but there are lapses in clarity and precision. For example, the first paragraph introduces a counterpoint ('juniors should be paid equally') but does not clearly integrate it into the argument. The essay would benefit from more focused topic sentences and clearer paragraph structure. Additionally, some points, such as the impact on morale, are introduced but not fully explored. To improve, ensure each paragraph has a clear central idea and that all points are directly linked to the question of whether higher salaries for seniors are justified.

Coherence & Cohesion

The essay has a clear overall structure with an introduction, body paragraphs, and a conclusion. However, the flow of ideas is sometimes disrupted by awkward phrasing and unclear transitions. For example, the introduction contains a confusing sentence: 'So, the agreements points of this notion are overweighing its disagreement points.' This could be rephrased for clarity. Additionally, the second body paragraph shifts abruptly from discussing senior employees' knowledge to the responsibilities of managers, and the connection between these ideas could be smoother. The use of cohesive devices is basic, and some sentences are overly long or run-on, which affects readability. To improve, focus on creating clearer topic sentences and using a wider range of linking words and phrases to guide the reader through your arguments.

Lexical Resource

The essay demonstrates a reasonable range of vocabulary, with some attempts at more sophisticated terms such as 'downturn', 'accountability', and 'productivity'. However, there are several instances of imprecise or awkward word choices, such as 'numerous number of nations' (should be 'many countries' or 'a number of countries'), 'likeminded people' (should be 'some people' or 'some individuals'), and 'overweighing' (should be 'outweighing'). Additionally, phrases like 'the agreements points' and 'a senior positioned employee' are not idiomatic. To improve, aim for more natural collocations and precise vocabulary, and avoid direct translations from your native language. Reading academic texts and noting how words are used in context can help. Pay attention to vocabulary repetition to improve the overall score.

Grammatical Range & Accuracy

The essay contains a mix of simple and complex sentence structures, but there are numerous grammatical errors that affect clarity. For example, subject-verb agreement issues ('senior manager have to suffer' should be 'senior managers have to suffer'), incorrect use of articles ('a senior positioned employee' should be 'a senior employee'), and punctuation problems (e.g., missing commas, run-on sentences). There are also awkward phrasings like 'the recently graduated does not have experience' (should be 'recent graduates do not have experience'). To improve, focus on proofreading for common errors, practicing sentence variety, and ensuring that each sentence is grammatically complete. Using a mix of simple, compound, and complex sentences correctly will enhance your score.

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