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Band 7+: Research shows that some activities are good for health and others are bad. Despite knowing that, millions of people engage in unhealthy activities. What is the cause of this? What can be done?

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According to research, activities can be divided into good and bad for health. Yet, millions of people decide to participate in unhealthy activities that are more accessible. However, it can be prevented by building free sports facilities close to houses.

To begin with, millions of people prefer unhealthy activities due to their accessibility. Through technological development people’s lives are getting more and more convenient: it is easier to order a delivery or buy a variety of clothes and items for home without leaving the house and putting effort. Moreover, leaving a house means additional expenses, for example, for transport or gyms. As a result, millions of people prefer to save their time and money, decreasing physical activities and choosing more accessible ones.

Nevertheless, building free sports facilities near houses can encourage people to choose healthy activities. Physical activities are beneficial not only for physical health but for mental health, as they reduce stress levels and help humans to reboot emotionally. That is why, if people want to save their time and money, it is important to build parks and equip areas close to houses with exercise machines to make healthy activities more accessible. As a result, long trips and other inconvenient things that may prevent people from leaving home will not work as excuses anymore.

In conclusion, research illustrates that activities are divided on health and unhealthy. Despite knowing that, millions of people prefer to participate in bad activities because they are more accessible. Yet, building free sports facilities close to houses can encourage engagement in healthy activities.

Word Count: 258

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Overall Band Score

(+/- 0.5)

Vocabulary Complexity:
C2 - Complex
Continue to challenge and refine your language choices.

Grammar Mistakes: N/A

Vocabulary Repetition:

activities: 10

people: 7

health: 4

millions: 4

accessible: 4

unhealthy: 3

building: 3

sports: 3

facilities: 3

close: 3

prefer: 3

their: 3

leaving: 3

physical: 3

houses: 3

healthy: 3

Try using synonyms for the above words

Task Response

The essay addresses the prompt by identifying a cause (accessibility) and a solution (building free sports facilities). A clear position is presented, and the main ideas are relevant. However, the development is somewhat limited: the cause is only briefly explained, and the solution is not fully elaborated with specific examples or a broader discussion. To improve, expand on the causes (e.g., lack of motivation, cost, time constraints) and provide more detailed support for the solution, such as how such facilities would be funded or maintained. Additionally, ensure each paragraph has a clear topic sentence and that ideas are fully extended.

Coherence & Cohesion

The essay is well-organized with a clear introduction, body paragraphs, and conclusion. The ideas flow logically, and the use of cohesive devices (e.g., 'To begin with', 'Moreover', 'As a result', 'Nevertheless') is effective. However, there are minor lapses in cohesion, such as the transition from the first body paragraph to the second could be smoother. The paragraphing is generally well-managed, but the conclusion could be more concise and avoid repeating the introduction verbatim.

Lexical Resource

The essay demonstrates a good range of vocabulary with some sophisticated choices (e.g., 'accessibility', 'technological development', 'reboot emotionally'). However, there are instances of repetition (e.g., 'accessible' and 'healthy activities' are used frequently) and some phrasing could be more natural (e.g., 'divided on health and unhealthy' could be 'divided into healthy and unhealthy'). Overall, the vocabulary is adequate but not fully flexible or precise. Pay attention to vocabulary repetition to improve the overall score.

Grammatical Range & Accuracy

The essay shows a good range of grammatical structures with mostly accurate use. There are only minor errors, such as 'divided on health and unhealthy' (should be 'divided into healthy and unhealthy') and 'help humans to reboot emotionally' (could be 'help humans reboot emotionally'). Punctuation is generally correct. The grammar is controlled and does not impede understanding, but there is room for more complex structures to achieve full flexibility.

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Band 7+: Research shows that some activities are good for health and others are bad. Despite knowing that, millions of people engage in unhealthy activities. What is the cause of this? What can be done?

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Research shows that some activities are good for health and others are bad. Despite knowing that, millions of people engage in unhealthy activities. What is the cause of this? What can be done?

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Research shows that some activities are good for health and others are bad. Despite knowing that, millions of people engage in unhealthy activities. What is the cause of this? What can be done?

Research shows that some activities are good for health and others are bad. Despite knowing that, millions of people engage in unhealthy activities. What is the cause of this? What can be done?

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