Opinion

Band 4+: Should free access to clean water be a fundamental human right?

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Note: Both the topic and the essay were created by one of our users.

In this essay i’m gonna demonstrate my opinion about water proplem. Water is very need full think to all planet and in particular for people. People need water as basic human need. For drink, for cooking for electric et. Nowadays not all nations have opportunity as water and I’m gonna tell why.

I think that it is a big and serious proplem, we need to do somethink with it. I can’t imagine that I wake up in the warning and can’t brew coffe or tea, can’t take a shower or Just drink clean water.

Specially for me and for people who live in a big city It is not a proplem. But it is for people who live in Africa on India for example.

There nations have not water in a free access. In my opinion people who have opportunity need to help folks whose can not get their basic right. I hope all at least once heard about charity. Charity is a wonderful option to help poor nations, for example because it has different forms as websites, shops sales, charity dinners in so forth. From my experience I know that mane shops have promotion as “Buy our products and half from their cost will go to charity company in Africa which helps poor people”. For my opinion it is the best chance to help destitute if you really want.

In conclusion I would like to say that we should think about this problem and decide what we can do with it because all Earth population need free access to basic humans right.

Word Count: 263

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Overall Band Score

4.5

(+/- 0.5)

Vocabulary Complexity:
B1 - Intermediate
Using more sophisticated words could be beneficial.

Grammar Mistakes: N/A

Vocabulary Repetition:

water: 5

people: 5

charity: 4

opinion: 3

about: 3

proplem: 3

think: 3

basic: 3

nations: 3

can't: 3

Try using synonyms for the above words

Task Response

The essay addresses the topic of access to clean water as a basic human right, but the response is incomplete and lacks depth. The position is clear (that it is a serious problem and people should help), but the development is limited and repetitive. The main ideas are relevant but not sufficiently extended or supported with specific examples or reasoning. There are also issues with clarity and precision in the supporting ideas. To improve, focus on fully addressing all parts of the prompt, providing more detailed explanations and examples, and ensuring each paragraph develops a single idea coherently. Additionally, work on grammar, spelling, and vocabulary to enhance clarity and precision.

Coherence & Cohesion

The essay has a basic structure with an introduction, body paragraphs, and a conclusion, but the flow of ideas is often disrupted by unclear references and abrupt transitions. The introduction is vague and does not clearly present a thesis. The body paragraphs jump from personal reflection to a general discussion of the problem and then to charity, without clear linking devices. The conclusion is repetitive and does not effectively summarize the argument. To improve, use clear topic sentences, logical connectors (e.g., 'however', 'therefore', 'for instance'), and ensure each paragraph focuses on a single main idea.

Lexical Resource

The vocabulary is limited and repetitive, with several spelling errors (e.g., 'proplem', 'somethink', 'oportunity', 'destitute' used incorrectly) and informal expressions (e.g., 'gonna', 'folks'). There is some attempt to use a range of words (e.g., 'charity', 'opportunity', 'basic human right'), but the control is not accurate. To improve, expand your vocabulary for common IELTS topics, use formal language, and proofread for spelling. For example, use 'problem' instead of 'proplem', 'something' instead of 'somethink', and 'opportunity' instead of 'oportunity'. Boost vocabulary complexity to elevate the overall score.

Grammatical Range & Accuracy

The essay contains numerous grammatical errors, including subject-verb agreement ('There nations have not water'), incorrect word forms ('need full think'), and punctuation issues. Sentence structures are mostly simple, with limited use of complex sentences. While some attempts at complex structures are made, they are often incorrect. To improve, practice using a variety of sentence structures (e.g., conditional sentences, relative clauses) and review basic grammar rules such as verb tense consistency and article usage. For example, 'I can't imagine that I wake up in the warning' should be 'I can't imagine waking up in the morning'.

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