Band 7+: Some parents give their children almost everything they ask for and allow them considerable freedom. What consequences might this have when the children become adults? How can parents establish appropriate boundaries?

It is frequently seen that some parents provide their children with roughly everything they desire and give them unlimited freedom. As a result, the child always remain dependent on their parents and never learn to meet their own needs autonomously. In addition, these children can not subsequently tolerate rejection and negative answers in society.

The attachment of these children on their parents hamper them from dealing with obstacles they encounter in life because they have not developed the proper skills accordingly. When an individual unlimitedly receives parents’ support and what they request for, expect others to rescue them facing difficult challenges in life. Consequently, they feel lost and stranded due to the lack of appropriate social readiness. Furthermore, one of the other consequences that is likely to emerge is they may not tolerate no as an answer while interacting with people. Since their whole childhood had been spoon-fed by parents and had not been prepared for real-life situations. Then, obviously, it causes frustration and disappointment of rejection. For example, as a survay showcased, elementary school teachers reportedly complained about the incapability of students of 8 to 10 years old in doing their personal needs such as packing up books after school hour or failure in understanding and accepting rejection by their peers.

On the other hand, well-aware parents should deploy wise strategies by setting behavioural rules. That is to say, the child would be punished if they violated the rules set by parents and praised and rewarded by fulfilling expectations. Therefore, the young person’s mind automatically learns there will be consequences for their actions. For instance, according to a study conducted by Iranian behaviroal psychologists in Tehran University, the majority of teenagers who had been restricted by some boundaries and rules growing up have acted more responsibly and logically and could think out of box in various occasions due to the brilliant parenting they had experienced.

In conclusion, whereas many children would experience attachment to their parents and intolerance to hearing negative reactions and contradiction, parents can light their path up by establishing some boundaries such as punishment and reward system.