Discussion

Band 5+: Some people argue that the primary purpose of natural resources, such as forests and rivers, is to support human development and economic growth. Others believe that it is essential to protect the natural environment and its wildlife, even if it restricts human activity and progress. Discuss both these views and give your opinion. Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

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Note: Both the topic and the essay were created by one of our users.

Natural resources have a lot of outcomes that humans could use. Nowadays, they are really useful for humans to solve economic problems in some countries. However, the egoistic control humans have leads to scarcity. Society tends to be greedy and harmful to the environment, which means dangerous to the future. On the other hand, protection of the natural environment is needed to embrace the growth of resources. Meanwhile, this action could end with the downfall of resources in the community because of the strictness.

This text implies that there needs to be equality from both sides for the impact that could increase the advantages of natural resources in the economy while keeping it safe. Every country has to grow its requirements to balance financial needs, especially to export its unique natural resources that other countries don’t have. It is very important since there are a lot of economy downfall. For instance, the collapse of the Indonesian currency against the dollar due to the relationship and exportation to other countries. It means rare natural goods that grow in Indonesia could bring satisfaction to different countries to fulfill their needs if they are used correctly.

In conclusion, every natural resource can be used to generate financial growth nowadays, that haven’t been any solution. Yet, there have to be certain rules that limit the use of natural goods so there aren’t any scarcity problems in this society. People also have to control their greediness to any goods that God gave in this world.

Word Count: 250

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Overall Band Score

5.5

(+/- 0.5)

Vocabulary Complexity:
C1 - Intricate
Strive to incorporate even richer and more precise language.

Grammar Mistakes: N/A

Vocabulary Repetition:

natural: 7

resources: 5

could: 4

countries: 4

there: 4

humans: 3

other: 3

needs: 3

goods: 3

Try using synonyms for the above words

Task Response

The essay addresses the prompt by discussing both views, but the development is limited and lacks clarity. The position is somewhat discernible but not clearly stated. The main ideas are relevant but not sufficiently extended or supported with concrete examples. There are issues with coherence and cohesion, as the essay jumps between ideas without clear transitions. To improve, ensure a clear introduction that presents both views and your opinion, develop each view in separate paragraphs with specific examples, and provide a clear conclusion that restates your position. Also, work on grammar and vocabulary to enhance clarity.

Coherence & Cohesion

The essay presents a clear position and attempts to discuss both views, but the organization could be improved. The introduction is somewhat vague and does not clearly outline the two perspectives. The body paragraph focuses on economic benefits and an example, but the discussion of environmental protection is brief and underdeveloped. The conclusion is present but does not fully summarize the arguments. Use clearer topic sentences and ensure each paragraph has a single main idea. Transition words could be used more effectively to guide the reader.

Lexical Resource

The essay uses some appropriate vocabulary related to the topic (e.g., 'natural resources', 'economic growth', 'scarcity', 'environment'). However, there are instances of awkward phrasing and word choice (e.g., 'a lot of outcomes', 'egoistic control', 'downfall of resources'). To improve, use more precise and varied vocabulary, and avoid repetition. Also, ensure that terms are used accurately (e.g., 'natural resources' instead of 'nature resources'). Pay attention to vocabulary repetition to improve the overall score.

Grammatical Range & Accuracy

The essay demonstrates a reasonable range of sentence structures, but there are some grammatical errors and awkward constructions that affect clarity. For example, 'that haven't been any solution' is incorrect, and 'the collapse of the Indonesian currency against the dollar due to the relationship and exportation to other countries' is unclear. Punctuation is mostly correct, but some sentences are run-ons. To improve, focus on sentence variety and ensure subject-verb agreement and correct use of articles. Proofreading for clarity would be beneficial.

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