Discussion

Band 5+: Some people believe that governments should spend more money on space exploration, while others think this money should be used to help people living in poverty. Discuss both views and give your own opinion. Write at least 250 words.

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Technology has been conistently growing due to which many argue that the government funds should be utilized massively on aeronautics for the improvement of human capacity and productivity while others present a case regarding how those funds should be channeled in alleviating poverty and preserving earth.

Due to globalization, the trend has shifted towards the use of technology and government spending should be used in space exploration for solving complex ideas and enhance knowledge. Aeronautics is an unexplored and a daunting subject that only a few countries have driven their attention to it because of the potential to be the dominant forces in the future. For instance, USA heavily invests it’s overall budget on astronauts and aeronautics due to which they are one of the powerhouse and strongest country in the world with deep understanding and knowledge regarding the subject.

Although technology has helped in improving daily lifestyle but the focus should also be shifted towards eradicating problems regarding global warming and poverty as a whole. Moreover, government spendings should be utilized for eco friendly programs as well as ethical sustainability should be promoted. For instance, Government of Nepal had organized a Poverty Alleviation Program in Western Terai in1997 in order to eliminate the inability to earn minimum wage.

To sum up, government should focus on capitalizing the opportunity in aeronautics through investing in it for the capacity and confidence building of the workforce as well as gaining an overall competitive edge in this dynamic market. While investing in technology, we should not ignore about the climate changes and funds should be channeled towards protecting earth and eradicating poverty.

Word Count: 269

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Overall Band Score

5.5

(+/- 0.5)

Vocabulary Complexity:
C2 - Complex
Continue to challenge and refine your language choices.

Grammar Mistakes: N/A

Vocabulary Repetition:

should: 9

government: 5

technology: 4

aeronautics: 4

poverty: 4

funds: 3

regarding: 3

towards: 3

Try using synonyms for the above words

Task Response

The essay addresses both views and presents a position, but the development is somewhat limited and lacks clarity in places. The main ideas are relevant but could be more fully extended and supported with specific examples or reasoning. The conclusion attempts to balance both views but could be more decisive. To improve, ensure each paragraph clearly focuses on one view with detailed explanation and examples, and strengthen the link between ideas and the overall argument.

Coherence & Cohesion

The essay has a clear structure with an introduction, two body paragraphs discussing each view, and a conclusion. However, the flow is sometimes disrupted by awkward phrasing and unclear connections between ideas. For example, the transition from the first body paragraph to the second could be smoother. The conclusion attempts to summarize but could be more concise. Work on using cohesive devices more effectively to guide the reader.

Lexical Resource

The vocabulary is adequate but not always precise or natural. There are some good attempts at sophisticated words (e.g., 'aeronautics', 'alleviating'), but also errors like 'conistently' (consistently), 'it's overall budget' (its), and 'driven their attention' (directed). The range is moderate; try to use more varied and accurate vocabulary to express ideas clearly.

Grammatical Range & Accuracy

There are several grammatical errors and awkward structures that affect clarity. Examples include: 'Technology has been conistently growing due to which many argue' (fragment), 'USA heavily invests it's overall budget' (its), 'we should not ignore about the climate changes' (omit 'about'). Punctuation is sometimes missing or incorrect. To improve, focus on sentence structure, subject-verb agreement, and correct use of articles and prepositions.

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Task Response

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Lexical Resource

Grammatical Range & Accuracy

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