Discussion

Band 6+: Some people believe that the best way to control accidents on city streets is to lower the speed limit but others think there are more important issues that need attention before roads can be safe. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

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Note: Both the topic and the essay were created by one of our users.

While some people consider reducing speed limits as the best procedure to decrease accidents. others find different matters more alarming and need prompt attention. This essay will discuss how speed can be the main reason for accidents, but will stand for the Importance of improving roads infrastructure to better address the accident’s problem.

It is undeniably true, that On the one hand, reckless drivers have caused peopel’s lives. Speed can be classified as the number one reason for car accidents. According to the Traffic Directorate in Damascus, fore three out of five car accidents are caused by exceeding speed limits. Therefore, reducing speed limits is the reasonable procedures to be taken to control the growing number of such misfortunate incidents, and will certainly decrease the gravity of the issue.

On the other hand, the poor infrastructure of roads has led toCatastrophic car crashes. When narrow streets are overly-crowded, a number of accidents happen. Also, limited access to parking lots has always been the case of poorly-designed streets. Therefore, Infrastructure -as I believe – has always been crucial when tackling the issue of road accidents.

Overall, while lower speed limits are accepted as the best way to limit the number of car crashes, improving the roads infrastructure will have a far reaching effect on this matter, and I hope to see more improved roads in the future, as I believe they are the essence of this issue.

Word Count: 236

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Overall Band Score

(+/- 0.5)

Vocabulary Complexity:
C1 - Intricate
Strive to incorporate even richer and more precise language.

Grammar Mistakes: N/A

Vocabulary Repetition:

speed: 6

accidents: 5

limits: 4

roads: 4

infrastructure: 4

number: 4

Try using synonyms for the above words

Task Response

The essay addresses the prompt, presenting both views and offering an opinion. The ideas are relevant, but the support and examples could be more precise and developed. To improve, focus on providing more specific details and evidence to strengthen your arguments. For instance, when discussing infrastructure, elaborate on the types of improvements needed and how they directly prevent accidents. Also, ensure a clear and consistent focus throughout the essay. The essay falls short of the required 250 words.

Coherence & Cohesion

The essay presents a clear structure with an introduction, body paragraphs discussing both views, and a conclusion. However, the transitions between ideas could be smoother. For instance, in the introduction, explicitly stating the essay's aim to discuss both views would enhance coherence. In the body paragraphs, using more varied cohesive devices (e.g., 'furthermore,' 'in contrast') would improve the flow. The conclusion summarizes the main points but could benefit from a stronger concluding statement that reinforces your opinion.

Lexical Resource

The essay demonstrates an adequate range of vocabulary, but there are instances where more precise word choices could enhance the impact. For example, instead of 'alarming,' consider using 'critical' or 'pressing.' Instead of 'misfortunate incidents,' perhaps 'tragic accidents' would be more appropriate. Expanding your vocabulary related to traffic safety and infrastructure would be beneficial. Also, be careful about using words like 'peopel's' which is a typo. Boost vocabulary complexity to elevate the overall score.

Grammatical Range & Accuracy

The essay exhibits a mix of simple and complex sentence structures, but grammatical errors are present and affect clarity. Errors such as 'fore three out of five' should be 'for three out of five', and 'Infrastructure -as I believe - has always been crucial' needs better punctuation and phrasing. Pay close attention to subject-verb agreement, correct article usage (a/an/the), and proper punctuation. Reviewing basic grammar rules and proofreading carefully will help improve accuracy.

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