Discussion

Band 4+: Some people believe that the government should spend money on the arts. Others think that public money should be spent on more essential services such as hospitals and schools. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.

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Note: Both the topic and the essay were created by one of our users.

Nowadays there is a debate about expending goverments financial resources. Although some believe that public resources should be spend to museums and art galleries, I strongly dissagree. In my opinion spending public money to needs that most commonly used by comunity like public transportation and parks.

Firstly, public transportation is one of the most important asset in modern cities. Most of the people is using public transport for going to work, school, and hospitals. This service must be effective and maintained for the comunity otherwise people will stressed waiting long quies. Stress is the common factor for ilnesses.

Secondly, public money should be spended to maintain the parks. Public mental-well being is vital. Parks play an important role for healtier community. Residents of the city can get fresh air and parents can entertain their children. For example my favoirette hobby is jogging in the park which relaxes me and I return home calm after a demanding day.

In conclusion, Although art is important for comunity, spending public money to essential needs such as public transportation and park is more advantegeous.

Word Count: 180

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Overall Band Score

(+/- 0.5)

Vocabulary Complexity:
C1 - Intricate
Strive to incorporate even richer and more precise language.

Grammar Mistakes: N/A

Vocabulary Repetition:

public: 9

money: 3

comunity: 3

transportation: 3

important: 3

Try using synonyms for the above words

Task Response

The essay addresses the prompt and presents a clear position: that public money should prioritize essential services like transportation and parks over museums. The main ideas are relevant to the writer's stance. However, the development of these ideas is somewhat limited. While the writer provides reasons, the connection between the chosen examples and the core debate (the trade-off between art and essential services) could be more robustly explored. To improve, try to expand on why these services should take precedence over cultural institutions specifically, rather than just describing why the services are good. Additionally, ensure that the arguments are more deeply developed; for instance, instead of just mentioning that jogging is a hobby, explain how public investment in parks leads to broader societal benefits that outweigh the cultural value of museums. The essay falls short of the required 250 words.

Coherence & Cohesion

The essay follows a clear structure with an introduction, two body paragraphs, and a conclusion. However, the progression of ideas is somewhat simplistic. To improve, use a wider variety of cohesive devices (e.g., 'Furthermore', 'In addition', 'Consequently') to link sentences more smoothly. Ensure that each paragraph has a clear topic sentence that is fully developed with supporting details rather than just brief statements.

Lexical Resource

The vocabulary used is basic and functional, but there are several spelling errors (e.g., 'expending', 'dissagree', 'comunity', 'ilnesses', 'favoirette', 'advantegeous') and incorrect word choices (e.g., 'spended' instead of 'spent'). To reach a higher band, aim to use more precise and sophisticated vocabulary. For instance, instead of 'important asset', you could use 'indispensable infrastructure', and instead of 'good for health', you could use 'promotes physical and mental well-being'. Boost vocabulary complexity to elevate the overall score.

Grammatical Range & Accuracy

There are frequent grammatical errors that occasionally impede the reader's understanding. Issues include subject-verb agreement ('Most of the people is using'), incorrect preposition usage ('spend to museums'), and improper verb forms ('should be spend'). There are also issues with sentence structure and punctuation. Focus on mastering basic sentence structures, correct verb tenses, and the correct use of articles and prepositions to improve clarity and accuracy.

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Band 4+: Some people believe that the government should spend money on the arts. Others think that public money should be spent on more essential services such as hospitals and schools. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.

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Overall Band Score

Task Response

Coherence & Cohesion

Lexical Resource

Grammatical Range & Accuracy

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Check Your Own Essay On This Topic?

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