Discussion

Band 4+: Some people believe that women should play an equal role as men in a country's police force or military force, while others think women are not suitable for these kinds of jobs. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.

See all user-written essays on this topic

Skyrocket your IELTS band score by 1-2 points in under a month with our premium plan!

Note: Both the topic and the essay were created by one of our users.

Some inhabitats certainly think that women should play an equal role as men in country’s police force or in military force, meanwhile others think that women are too vulnerable for these types of jobs.

If women will play the equal role in those types of jobs like military force and even try to do better than man, their defence will be tougher than its average level because there are extra workers and also people will appreciate their job and support them. The biggest benefit of women being a police or a solider is that women can stay energetic at any moment meaning they can work none stop.

In the other hand, women are really weak, if they wil get injured or get dammaged they might never work again. Also women cant ride those kinds of transports very well for example every time when they try to learn how to ride tanks or those special police customized bikes, they always crash it. Being a solider or a police requiers a lot of effort and skills because there are a lot of things you gotta know to take a part in those kinds of jobs for example you need to run fast and also you gotta be really sneaky because you cant just straight walk up to the person you are targeting to catch which makes t hard for women.

In conclusion, i will say that being a police officer or a military force is a good job for women, they can learn so much more stuff from being in those kinds of jobs, but even though there are a lot of benefitts, its still not type of job that women can participate in.

Word Count: 282

Check Your Own Essay On This Topic?

Check My Essay

Generate A Band-9 Sample With Your Idea?

Generate A Sample

Overall Band Score

4.5

(+/- 0.5)

Vocabulary Complexity:
C1 - Intricate
Strive to incorporate even richer and more precise language.

Grammar Mistakes: N/A

Vocabulary Repetition:

women: 9

police: 5

those: 5

force: 4

being: 4

military: 3

because: 3

there: 3

kinds: 3

Try using synonyms for the above words

Task Response

The essay addresses both views and presents a position, but the development is limited and lacks clarity. The arguments are simplistic and contain unsupported generalizations (e.g., women are weak, cannot ride vehicles). The conclusion is contradictory, undermining the position. To improve, provide more balanced and detailed arguments for both sides, support claims with specific examples or reasoning, and ensure the conclusion clearly aligns with the position stated in the introduction.

Coherence & Cohesion

The essay presents both views and a conclusion, but the organization is somewhat unclear. The first body paragraph discusses benefits, the second discusses drawbacks, but the ideas within paragraphs are not always logically connected. The conclusion is abrupt and does not clearly summarize the discussion. Use clear topic sentences and ensure each paragraph has a single main idea. Improve the flow by using linking words and phrases to connect sentences and paragraphs more smoothly.

Lexical Resource

The vocabulary is limited and repetitive, with some inappropriate word choices (e.g., 'inhabitats' instead of 'people', 'dammaged' instead of 'injured', 'requiers' instead of 'requires'). There is an attempt to use some topic-specific vocabulary (e.g., 'police force', 'military force'), but it is not used accurately. To improve, expand your range of vocabulary and use more precise and natural expressions. Avoid informal language and ensure correct word forms. Boost vocabulary complexity to elevate the overall score.

Grammatical Range & Accuracy

There are numerous grammatical errors, including subject-verb agreement, incorrect verb forms, and punctuation issues. For example, 'If women will play' should be 'If women play', 'they wil get injured' should be 'they will get injured', and 'women cant ride' should be 'women cannot ride'. The essay also lacks complex sentence structures. To improve, practice using a variety of sentence structures, including complex and compound sentences, and review basic grammar rules such as verb tense and agreement.

Essays On The Same Topic:

Some people believe that women should play an equal role as men in a country’s police force or military force, while others think women are not suitable for these kinds of jobs. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.

An increasing concern for many policymakers around the world is the fair and effective integration of women into high-stakes defense roles. While it can be argued that women should play an equal role to men in the police force and military, another opinion is that the biological and physical demands of these jobs make women […]

Band 9

See All

Schools should prioritize teaching students how to cooperate rather than how to compete. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

For decades, the issue of whether schools should focus more on cooperation or individual competition has been the subject of an ongoing debate. From my perspective, I strongly agree with the idea that educational institutions should prioritize cooperation over competition, as teamwork builds essential social skills and prepares students to adapt effectively to life in […]

Band 8+

Some countries achieve international sports by building specialised facilities to train top athletes, instead of providing sports facilities that everyone can use. Do you think this is positive or negative development?

In recent years, achieving international sport success has become incrasingly common by giving sports’ comforts learned by professional athletes. I believe that this process has positive sides as the world can recognize the winner country. However, paying attention sport cups may cause the lower educational and medicial system. One major problem of supporting sports competations […]

Band 4+

Nowadays, women as well as men work full time. Therefore, women and men should share household tasks equally. (e.g. cleaning and looking after children). To what extent do you agree or disagree?

In recent years, most women work full time alongside men. Due to this, some people believe they should share household tasks. Personally, I agree that men and women should share household tasks equally, especially since in modern times they both work full time. This essay will dive into why I believe so. First of all, […]

Band 6+

Many people today are choosing to travel to other countries. Why is this happening? Is this a positive or negative development?

Nowadays, a lot of people prefer to travel to different countries. This happens because humans would like to see the whole world with their own eyes. Moreover, they can exprience new emotions or activities. In my opinion, traveling around the world it is really amazing experience since it is the best option to relax and […]

Band 5+

Research shows that business meetings, discussions and training are happening online nowadays. Do the advantages outweigh the disadvantages?

With modern technology, the way people hold meetings, discussions, and training has changed drastically, and many people now prefer online formats to on-site ones. While there are real disadvantages, the overall impact of conducting these activities with digital tools is positive. Admittedly, holding meetings virtually has several drawbacks. One of the main disadvantages is the […]

Band 8+

See All