Opinion

Band 6+: Some people say that the best way to discourage smoking is to make smoking illegal in public places. Other people say that this is not enough, and that other measures are needed.

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A substantial number of individuals are convinced of the prospect of banning smoking in public places while certain people believe that it is not sufficient and stringent laws should be enforced to make people withdraw smoking. In my opinion, I am also convinced with the perspective of taking strict actions along with banning to restrict smoking.

Smoking is injurious to health and causes many serious health issues. The advocates who consider that the restriction of smoking and completely making it illegal to smoke in public area is a better option. It is because if any activity is illegal, people often fear of committing it. The government should take strong actions against the person who abides the law. As a consequence, the public will stop smoking in public places.

On the other hand, there are several groups of citizens who think that there should be some additional measures followed that could alleviate this issue. Primarily, restricting smoking in open places could be a positive step. The other points to take into account is prohibiting the sale of cigarettes in places such as near schools, hospitals, universities and public transit stops. It would be beneficial to inhibit the habit of smoking among youngsters. Furthermore, a strong campaign could spread awareness about the risks associated with smoking. For instance, advertisements and banners should be placed in public places demonstrating that not only active smoking is dangerous, passive smoking is also fatal for those who do not smoke.

In conclusion, while restricting smoking in a public place is a mandatory action that needs to be taken by the government, other measures such as awareness campaigns and monitoring the sales of such substance will also contribute to fight this issue.

Word Count: 285

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Overall Band Score

(+/- 0.5)

Vocabulary Complexity:
C2 - Complex
Continue to challenge and refine your language choices.

Grammar Mistakes: N/A

Vocabulary Repetition:

smoking: 10

public: 7

places: 4

should: 4

people: 3

other: 3

could: 3

Try using synonyms for the above words

Task Response

The essay addresses the main parts of the prompt and presents a clear position. It discusses both the view that making smoking illegal in public places is best and the view that other measures are needed, and it agrees with the latter. The ideas are relevant and supported with some examples, such as restricting sales near schools and awareness campaigns. However, there are a few lapses in clarity and precision. For instance, the phrase 'make people withdraw smoking' is awkward, and the sentence 'The government should take strong actions against the person who abides the law' seems to have a typo (should be 'disobeys'). Additionally, the first body paragraph could be more developed to fully explore the argument for banning smoking in public places. To improve, ensure that all sentences are clear and grammatically accurate, and consider providing more specific examples or evidence to strengthen the support for your ideas.

Coherence & Cohesion

The essay has a clear structure with an introduction, body paragraphs, and a conclusion. However, the flow is sometimes disrupted by awkward phrasing and unclear pronoun references (e.g., 'it' in the second paragraph). The use of cohesive devices is basic, and some ideas could be more logically connected. To improve, use a wider range of linking words and ensure each paragraph has a clear central topic with smooth transitions between sentences.

Lexical Resource

The essay uses some appropriate vocabulary related to the topic (e.g., 'stringent laws', 'alleviate', 'prohibiting', 'passive smoking'). However, there are instances of imprecise word choice and repetition (e.g., 'restricting smoking' used multiple times). To achieve a higher score, aim for more varied and sophisticated vocabulary, and ensure word choices are precise and natural (e.g., 'withdraw smoking' is not idiomatic; consider 'quit smoking').

Grammatical Range & Accuracy

The essay demonstrates a reasonable range of sentence structures, but there are several grammatical errors and awkward phrasings that affect clarity. For example, 'The advocates who consider that the restriction of smoking and completely making it illegal to smoke in public area is a better option' is a fragment and lacks a main verb. Also, 'the person who abides the law' should be 'the person who breaks the law' (or 'violates the law'). To improve, focus on sentence construction, subject-verb agreement, and using a variety of complex structures accurately.

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Band 6+: Some people say that the best way to discourage smoking is to make smoking illegal in public places. Other people say that this is not enough, and that other measures are needed.

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Some people say that the best way to discourage smoking is to make smoking illegal in public places. Other people say that this is not enough, and that other measures are needed.

Some people say that the best way to discourage smoking is to make smoking illegal in public places. Other people say that this is not enough, and that other measures are needed.

Some people say that the best way to discourage smoking is to make smoking illegal in public places. Other people say that this is not enough, and that other measures are needed.

Some people say that the best way to discourage smoking is to make smoking illegal in public places. Other people say that this is not enough, and that other measures are needed.

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Check Your Own Essay On This Topic?

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