Discussion

Band 6+: Some people say that the only reason for learning the foreign language is in order to or work in foreign country.Others say that these are not the only reasons why someone should learn a foreign language. Discuss both these views and give your opinion

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Some people believe that the main purpose of learning a foreign language is to travel or to work abroad. However, this statement sparked a debate that learning other language has many other benefits other than to work nor travel. In this essay we will discuss both point of view and give a reasonable example and also the conclusion.

On one hand, many folks study foreign language for the reason of working across the regions. Being able to communicate effectively causes many benefits for us, we could avoid misunderstandings or add the opportunities’ for our career. For example, a person who speak english like native speaker can find a better jobs compared to who do not speak english fluently, or people that knows the basic phrase will find it easier to navigate around.

On the other hand, learning a foreign language offers numerous benefits that are not limited to travelling or working abroad. It leveled up your cognitive skills such as memory, creativity, and problem-solving. Moreover, it allows people to understand different cultures and perspectives, promoting tolerance and empathy. For example, someone who learns Chinese not only gains the ability to communicate but also develops an appreciation for Chinese traditions, values, and history. Furthermore, language learning can be a personal achievement that boosts confidence and provides lifelong satisfaction.

In conclusion, while learning a foreign language is certainly useful for travel and employment, it should not be viewed solely from a practical perspective. It also opened our mind, broadens cultural understanding, and contributes to personal growth. Therefore, I strongly believe that the reasons for studying foreign languages is not only for work or travel-related needs.

Word Count: 273

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Overall Band Score

(+/- 0.5)

Vocabulary Complexity:
C2 - Complex
Continue to challenge and refine your language choices.

Grammar Mistakes: N/A

Vocabulary Repetition:

language: 6

learning: 5

foreign: 5

other: 4

people: 3

travel: 3

benefits: 3

example: 3

Try using synonyms for the above words

Task Response

The essay addresses the prompt, presenting both views and offering a clear opinion. The ideas are relevant, but the support lacks some precision and depth. To improve, provide more specific examples and elaborate on the connections between language learning and the benefits mentioned, such as cognitive skills and cultural understanding.

Coherence & Cohesion

The essay demonstrates an attempt to discuss both views and provide an opinion, but the structure could be improved for better clarity. The introduction is somewhat weak and could benefit from a clearer thesis statement. Transitions between paragraphs are present but could be smoother to enhance the flow of ideas. Consider using more varied cohesive devices to link ideas within and between paragraphs more effectively. For example, in the second paragraph, elaborating further on the specific benefits of effective communication in a work setting would strengthen the argument.

Lexical Resource

The essay uses a range of vocabulary, but some choices are not entirely accurate or natural ('sparked a debate,' 'across the regions,' 'leveled up'). Expanding the range of vocabulary and focusing on more precise word choices would improve the overall quality. For instance, instead of 'sparked a debate,' consider 'initiated a discussion' or 'led to a discussion.' Also, try to use more specific vocabulary related to the benefits of language learning.

Grammatical Range & Accuracy

The essay contains several grammatical errors that affect clarity. Examples include incorrect verb forms ('language has many other benefits,' 'person who speak english'), incorrect article usage, and awkward phrasing. While a variety of sentence structures are attempted, the accuracy needs improvement. Focus on proofreading carefully for subject-verb agreement, correct tense usage, and proper article usage. For example, revise 'a person who speak english like native speaker can find a better jobs compared to who do not speak english fluently' to 'a person who speaks English like a native speaker can find better jobs compared to those who do not speak English fluently.'

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