Discussion

Band 7+: Some people think students should be free to choose what to study, while others think the curriculum should be strictly followed. Discuss both views and give your opinion

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The life of a student is greatly influenced by education. Whereas there are people who think that the student should be free to pick up subjects that he wants to learn, there are those who think that a student should only adhere to the existing curriculum. This essay seeks to examine the two arguments and offer an opinion on the issue.

First, when a learner is given the freedom to choose his topics of study, he is bound to develop an interest in learning. This is because most learners tend to be interested in topics that are related to their aspirations. They will therefore spend a considerable amount of time learning such topics. For instance, if a learner is being taught about computer studies, he will certainly choose programming since it is something he loves so much.

On the contrary, there are many benefits that one may reap by opting for a curriculum. First of all, usually, most of the students do not know what they should learn starting from the first day up until the last day of their learning period. A curriculum is created by experienced teachers who have a lot of teaching experience. A curriculum is developed and revised based on recent changes and demands of the education sector. For instance, the Indian Central Board of Secondary Education curriculum may be revised from time to time in order to ensure that the learners perform better.

In my opinion, both approaches are significant for the current stage of education process. Students should learn a curriculum in order to create a solid foundation of their future knowledge. However, they have the opportunity to choose any subject they want.

In conclusion, freedom of choice motivates learners to study and the curriculum shows students the right way to go.

Word Count: 298

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Overall Band Score

(+/- 0.5)

Vocabulary Complexity:
C1 - Intricate
Strive to incorporate even richer and more precise language.

Grammar Mistakes: N/A

Vocabulary Repetition:

curriculum: 7

education: 4

should: 4

student: 3

there: 3

learn: 3

choose: 3

topics: 3

learning: 3

learners: 3

their: 3

students: 3

Try using synonyms for the above words

Task Response

The essay effectively addresses all parts of the prompt. You have clearly presented both sides of the argument and provided a personal opinion that seeks a middle ground. The ideas are relevant and supported with logical reasoning and examples. To reach a higher score, you could further develop the connection between your opinion and the body paragraphs. While your conclusion summarizes the points, expanding slightly on *how* these two approaches can coexist (e.g., a core curriculum with elective modules) would provide a more nuanced and deeply developed position.

Coherence & Cohesion

The essay is logically organized with a clear introduction, body paragraphs addressing both sides, and a conclusion. The progression of ideas is easy to follow. To improve, try to use more sophisticated cohesive devices and transitions between sentences within paragraphs to avoid a slightly repetitive structure (e.g., starting many sentences with 'A curriculum is...' or 'They will...').

Lexical Resource

The vocabulary used is appropriate and accurate for the topic (e.g., 'aspirations', 'adhere to', 'solid foundation'). However, the range is somewhat limited. To reach a higher band, aim to use more varied synonyms for common words like 'learners', 'students', and 'topics' to avoid repetition, and incorporate more academic collocations. Pay attention to vocabulary repetition to improve the overall score.

Grammatical Range & Accuracy

The writer demonstrates a good command of sentence structures, including complex sentences using 'whereas' and 'if' clauses. Most sentences are error-free. To improve, focus on refining the use of articles and prepositions, and try to incorporate a wider variety of advanced grammatical structures, such as passive voice or inversion, to demonstrate greater flexibility.

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