Advantage And Disadvantage

Band 5+: Some school leavers travel or work for a period of time instead of going directly to university What are the advantages and disadvantages of this for their study

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Around the world, travelling and working after school is common between school graduates, choosing this way has some advantages and disadvantages. In this essay i will compare and give information about two positive and negative sides.

There are many benefits of travelling or working after graduation. Firstly, if school leavers choose this option, they can make concrete plans about future. For instance, by working and travelling experience they will start identify the field they want, also do not regret about it.Secondly, travelling expands their horizons, because pupils have a chance to talk with different people, which is plays the main role for broaden mindset. In addition, school graduates might face challenging situations which will help become independent.

However, travelling or working have some negative sides for school students. To begin with, they easily might lose passion for studying. When graduates start working or earning money they become reluctant return to university and spend money on education. Furthermore, suffering from homesickness is also influences on the school leavers. If students live away from family, they will miss their family, as a result of this, become quickly stressed and depressed.

To sum up, this issue has positive and negative aspects for school students.In my opinion parents should respect their child’s choice and encourage their children, if child wants to travel or study at university.

Word Count: 222

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Overall Band Score

(+/- 0.5)

Vocabulary Complexity:
C1 - Intricate
Strive to incorporate even richer and more precise language.

Grammar Mistakes: N/A

Vocabulary Repetition:

school: 7

travelling: 5

working: 5

their: 4

graduates: 3

about: 3

negative: 3

become: 3

Try using synonyms for the above words

Task Response

The essay addresses the prompt and presents a clear position. The main ideas are relevant, but there could be more focus and precision in supporting them. To improve, consider providing more specific examples and elaborating on the potential consequences of each advantage and disadvantage. Also, ensure a balanced discussion of both sides of the argument. The essay falls short of the required 250 words.

Coherence & Cohesion

The essay demonstrates some organization, but the progression of ideas is not always clear. The introduction and conclusion are basic. Transitions between paragraphs and ideas could be smoother. Consider using more varied cohesive devices to improve the flow of your writing. For example, use 'Moreover' or 'Furthermore' instead of repeating 'In addition'. The paragraphing is adequate but could be improved by ensuring each paragraph focuses on a single, clear idea.

Lexical Resource

The vocabulary used is somewhat limited and basic. There are instances of imprecise word choice (e.g., "plays the main role for broaden mindset"). To improve, try to use a wider range of vocabulary and pay attention to collocations and the appropriate use of words in context. For example, instead of 'broaden mindset,' consider 'expand their perspective' or 'widen their understanding'. Pay attention to vocabulary repetition to improve the overall score.

Grammatical Range & Accuracy

The essay contains numerous grammatical errors that affect clarity. There are issues with verb tense, subject-verb agreement, article usage, and sentence structure. For example, 'pupils have a chance to talk with different people, which is plays the main role' contains errors in verb tense and relative pronoun usage. To improve, focus on mastering basic grammar rules and practice constructing more complex sentences accurately. Proofread carefully to identify and correct errors.

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Band 5+: Some school leavers travel or work for a period of time instead of going directly to university What are the advantages and disadvantages of this for their study

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Task Response

Coherence & Cohesion

Lexical Resource

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Essays On The Same Topic:

Some school leavers travel or work for a period of time instead of going directly to university What are the advantages and disadvantages of this for their study

Some school leavers travel or work for a period of time instead of going directly to university What are the advantages and disadvantages of this for their study

Some school leavers travel or work for a period of time instead of going directly to university What are the advantages and disadvantages of this for their study

Some school leavers travel or work for a period of time instead of going directly to university What are the advantages and disadvantages of this for their study

Some school leavers travel or work for a period of time instead of going directly to university What are the advantages and disadvantages of this for their study

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If some people get a chance to choose between life without work and spending most of the time working, then they would choose not to work. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

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