Opinion

Band 5+: Some students believe that it is better to take one year off between finishing high school and going to university, in order to travel or to work for example.

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Many people think it is beneficial to have a gap year after secondary school before going to university, to travel or to work.

One of the main reasons why I agree is that the travel and rest with your family. Maybe after 11 years you tired and want to travel and relax with your family. The gap is a good idea because you can think about your future, maybe if you enter a university to study a profession you don’t like, but if you take one year off between finishing high school and going to university you can think about a profession that you like. And you can rest with your family go abroad, and enjoy moments together.

Another reason is that when your friends study at university you can work and earn money for your dream. Some students combine work and study, and they can’t concentrate on one thing, so they either leave the university or leave their job. But not you, because you will be working for 1 year and earn money. When you study at university, you can focus only on studying because before you worked and saved money.

In conclusion, I believe that taking a gap year is a good idea for young people because it gives time to think about their future career, earn money and spend more time with their family.

Word Count: 227

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Overall Band Score

5.5

(+/- 0.5)

Vocabulary Complexity:
B2 - Upper Intermediate
Opt for even more advanced words when appropriate.

Grammar Mistakes: N/A

Vocabulary Repetition:

university: 6

think: 4

family: 4

because: 4

study: 4

travel: 3

about: 3

money: 3

their: 3

Try using synonyms for the above words

Task Response

The essay addresses the main parts of the prompt and presents a position. The ideas are relevant but lack clarity and sufficient development. To improve, provide more specific examples and elaborate on the benefits of each point. For instance, when discussing travel, mention specific skills or experiences gained. Also, ensure smoother transitions between ideas and paragraphs. The essay falls short of the required 250 words.

Coherence & Cohesion

The essay demonstrates a generally clear progression of ideas, but the connections between sentences and paragraphs could be strengthened. Consider using more varied cohesive devices to improve the flow and clarity of your arguments. For instance, in the first paragraph, elaborating on how travel and rest contribute to future career decisions would enhance coherence. In the second paragraph, providing a clearer link between working during the gap year and improved focus during university studies would be beneficial.

Lexical Resource

The essay uses a range of vocabulary appropriate to the task, but there's room for improvement in terms of precision and sophistication. Try to incorporate more specific and nuanced language to express your ideas more effectively. For example, instead of saying 'a good idea,' you could use phrases like 'a strategic approach' or 'a beneficial interlude.' Expanding your vocabulary and using synonyms can make your writing more engaging and persuasive. Pay attention to vocabulary repetition to improve the overall score.

Grammatical Range & Accuracy

The essay demonstrates a fair range of grammatical structures, but there are noticeable errors that affect clarity. Pay closer attention to subject-verb agreement, tense consistency, and correct article usage. For example, in the first paragraph, 'The gap is a good idea because you can think' could be improved to 'A gap year is beneficial as it allows one to reflect.' Proofreading carefully and focusing on sentence structure will help improve grammatical accuracy.

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