Positive And Negative

Band 6+: Some young people are leaving the countryside to live in cities and towns, leaving only old people in the countryside. Do you think this is a positive or a negative development

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Due to urbanization, the subject of inhabiting a place has been controversial in the recent decades. In the contemporary world, it has become a rife vision of the people to move to the city area to enjoy a better life and as a result, number of inhabitants in villages are decreasing day by day. I firmly believe that this kind of development is negative, and I shall elucidate my point of views in the forthcoming paragraphs.

It is quite rational that due to an increase in the proportion of people moving from countrysides to the developed cities, not only agricultural sector but the overall stability of the country would face significant threats. Especially those countries, which depends highly on their indigenous crops i.e. rice and wheat, would have to suffer from serious economic risks. Furthermore, as a plethora of people are coming to cities, which would result in the poor upbringing of their next generations. Urban areas are often deprived of healthy climate and nutritional diets, thus it may cause health related issues in many of the infants.

One reason why people propund in living cities is the number of facilities that are available there. Better educational facilities, medically equipped hospitals and widespread regulations along with enormous job opportunities attract the attention of the adult people from rural areas and in order to avail these facilities they find it essential to leave the comfort of their hometown and settle in the city area.

In conclusion, cities are the best places to live with certain limitations. Nevertheless, the essence of populating countrysides and the benefits associated with them are unquestionable. Therefore, I strongly opine that ghosting of villages on such a large scale is a negative development.

Word Count: 286

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Overall Band Score

(+/- 0.5)

Vocabulary Complexity:
C2 - Complex
Continue to challenge and refine your language choices.

Grammar Mistakes: N/A

Vocabulary Repetition:

people: 5

cities: 4

would: 3

their: 3

facilities: 3

Try using synonyms for the above words

Task Response

The essay addresses the prompt and presents a clear position that the development is negative. The main ideas are relevant and supported with some development, particularly regarding economic risks and health issues. However, there are a few lapses in focus and precision. For example, the second body paragraph introduces reasons why people move to cities, which is somewhat off-topic as the prompt asks for an evaluation of the development, not the causes. Additionally, some points could be more fully extended, such as the impact on agricultural sector and the health issues. To improve, ensure all paragraphs directly support the position and develop each idea with more specific examples or explanations.

Coherence & Cohesion

The essay has a clear structure with an introduction, body paragraphs, and a conclusion. However, the flow of ideas is sometimes disrupted by awkward phrasing and unclear pronoun references. For example, 'the subject of inhabiting a place has been controversial' is vague, and the link between the first and second body paragraphs could be smoother. The use of cohesive devices is adequate but not always precise. To improve, ensure each paragraph has a clear central idea and that transitions between paragraphs are logical and explicit.

Lexical Resource

The essay demonstrates a reasonable range of vocabulary, with some attempts at sophistication (e.g., 'rife vision', 'elucidate', 'plethora', 'propund'). However, there are several inaccuracies and awkward collocations (e.g., 'rife vision' should be 'common view', 'propund' should be 'propound', 'ghosting of villages' is informal and unclear). The use of 'i.e.' is not always appropriate. To improve, focus on using precise and natural vocabulary, and avoid direct translation from the first language. Also, ensure that less common words are used correctly.

Grammatical Range & Accuracy

The essay uses a mix of simple and complex sentence structures, but there are several grammatical errors that affect clarity. For example, 'number of inhabitants in villages are decreasing' should be 'the number of inhabitants in villages is decreasing', and 'which depends highly on their indigenous crops' should be 'which depend highly on their indigenous crops'. There are also issues with subject-verb agreement and article usage. To improve, review grammar rules for subject-verb agreement, articles, and pluralization. Additionally, ensure that sentences are not overly long and are punctuated correctly.

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Band 6+: Some young people are leaving the countryside to live in cities and towns, leaving only old people in the countryside. Do you think this is a positive or a negative development

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Some young people are leaving the countryside to live in cities and towns, leaving only old people in the countryside. Do you think this is a positive or a negative development

Some young people are leaving the countryside to live in cities and towns, leaving only old people in the countryside. Do you think this is a positive or a negative development

Some young people are leaving the countryside to live in cities and towns, leaving only old people in the countryside. Do you think this is a positive or a negative development

Some young people are leaving the countryside to live in cities and towns, leaving only old people in the countryside. Do you think this is a positive or a negative development

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