Opinion

Band 5+: Supermarkets should only sell food produced from within their own country other than imports from overseas. What is your opinion?

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Note: Both the topic and the essay were created by one of our users.

Some people think supermarkets must sell only food that is grown in their own country, while other people think the shop should also sell food from other countries. I believe we should buy local food, but we should not stop importing it completely so that we can close that topic.

Buying local food helps farmers in our country. They can earn money and grow their business. Local food is also fresh because it does not travel long distance. This is healthy to eat and creates less pollution from transport.

However, we can not raise different types in one country. For example, some fruits and spices only grow in hot places. If supermarkets stop importing, people will have less options and some foods will become expensive. Trading with other countries also gives jobs to many workers.

This is my opinion. Supermarkets should sell mostly local food to support farmers and protect the environment. But they should also keep some imported food so people can enjoy variety and fair prices. So both sides are balanced and that should be there.

Word Count: 178

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Overall Band Score

(+/- 0.5)

Vocabulary Complexity:
B1 - Intermediate
Using more sophisticated words could be beneficial.

Grammar Mistakes: N/A

Vocabulary Repetition:

should: 6

people: 4

local: 4

supermarkets: 3

country: 3

other: 3

Try using synonyms for the above words

Task Response

The essay addresses the prompt and presents a clear position. The ideas are relevant, but there could be more focus and precision in supporting them. To improve, consider developing your arguments with more specific examples and elaborations. The essay falls short of the required 250 words.

Coherence & Cohesion

The essay demonstrates an attempt to organize ideas into paragraphs, but the connection between sentences within paragraphs could be strengthened. Transitions between paragraphs are somewhat abrupt. For instance, the shift from the benefits of local food to the counterarguments could be smoother. Consider using transitional phrases to guide the reader through your argument more effectively. The conclusion could be more impactful by summarizing the main points and providing a clearer stance.

Lexical Resource

The vocabulary used is generally adequate for the task, but there's room for improvement in terms of variety and precision. Some phrases are quite basic (e.g., "earn money," "grow their business"). Try to incorporate more sophisticated vocabulary related to economics, agriculture, and environmental impact. For example, instead of "earn money," you could use "generate revenue" or "secure financial stability." Instead of "grow their business," consider "expand their operations" or "develop their enterprises." Boost vocabulary complexity to elevate the overall score.

Grammatical Range & Accuracy

The essay contains grammatical errors and phrasing issues that affect clarity. While the basic sentence structures are generally correct, there are instances where more complex sentence structures could enhance the writing. Pay close attention to subject-verb agreement, article usage, and correct tense usage. Proofreading carefully for these errors will improve the overall quality of your writing. For example, in the first paragraph, the phrase "so that we can close that topic" is awkward and unclear. Consider rephrasing it to something like "to address all aspects of the issue."

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