Opinion

Band 7+: Task 2: Employers should give its staff at least four weeks of holidays a year to make employees better at their jobs. To what extent do you agree or disagree?Task 2: Employers should give its staff at least four weeks of holidays a year to make employees better at their jobs. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

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The contentious issue of whether employees should be allowed at least four weeks of holidays a year has sparked intense debate in contemporary society . While acknowledging some valid arguments, this essay will largely concur with the notion for several key reasons as follow- increasing productivity, maintaining personal relationships, and boosting up the overall energy level. I, therefore, firmly agree with the statement, and my writing intends to analyze my stands.

To commence with, taking rest and going on vacations immensely increase the productivity of individuals. Work pressure and monotony of service, some times reduces the effieciency of workers. As a result, overall performances decline sharply. A study by RMT University of Australia revealed that, ” Production rate of goods plummeted in a factory where workers don’t get at least four weeks of holidays.” Therefore, for maintaining productivity and increasing skill holidays are imperative.

Moreover, workers often struggle to maintain a healthy personal life due to lack of holidays. Employees engaged in packed work schedule often miss family get-together and important occasions. As a result, increased distance are often observed among the families of such employees. If they get at least four weeks off from their busy office life they can go on vacations and spend enjoyable moments with their families, thus ensuring a healthy family life.

Additionally, working for long hours makes anyone drained of social and intellectual energy. Brain functioning at an ever-lasting pace would definitely decrease the mental strength of any worker. In order to boost their energy level, taking regular breaks are crucial. Holidays definitely encourage individuals to work better by lifting up the mood as they provide opportunities to wind up.

In conclusion, having considered various facets of this issue, it is my conviction that giving at least four weeks of holidays to employees remain superior as it increases productivity, renders better work and family life balance, and encourages the overall development of individuals by enhancing the energy level.

Word Count: 324

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Overall Band Score

(+/- 0.5)

Vocabulary Complexity:
C2 - Complex
Continue to challenge and refine your language choices.

Grammar Mistakes: N/A

Vocabulary Repetition:

holidays: 5

employees: 4

least: 4

weeks: 4

productivity: 4

energy: 4

overall: 3

level: 3

individuals: 3

workers: 3

often: 3

family: 3

their: 3

Try using synonyms for the above words

Task Response

The essay appropriately addresses the prompt and presents a clear and developed position. The ideas are relevant and supported with examples and reasoning. There is a good structure and flow throughout the essay. To improve, consider adding more specific details or evidence to further strengthen your arguments. For example, in the first body paragraph, you could elaborate on the types of work pressure or monotony that lead to decreased efficiency. Also, ensure that the study you cited is accurately represented and properly referenced.

Coherence & Cohesion

The essay presents a clear position and maintains it throughout. The arguments are logically organized into paragraphs, each focusing on a specific reason. Transitions between sentences and paragraphs are generally smooth, contributing to the overall coherence. However, some transitions could be more explicit to further enhance the flow of ideas. For example, in the introduction, instead of 'for several key reasons as follow', you could write 'for several key reasons, which will be discussed below'. Also, ensure that each paragraph directly and clearly supports the main argument.

Lexical Resource

The essay demonstrates a good range of vocabulary, using appropriate words and phrases to convey the intended meaning. There are instances of effective word choice, such as 'contentious issue' and 'monotony of service.' However, there are also some areas where the vocabulary could be more precise or sophisticated. For example, consider replacing 'boosting up the overall energy level' with a more concise and impactful phrase like 'enhancing overall vitality.' Also, be careful about using idioms or informal language in academic writing. Pay attention to vocabulary repetition to improve the overall score.

Grammatical Range & Accuracy

The essay demonstrates a good command of grammar, with a variety of sentence structures used effectively. However, there are some grammatical errors and phrasing issues that need attention. For example, 'some times reduces the effieciency of workers' should be 'sometimes reduces the efficiency of workers.' Also, 'increased distance are often observed among the families of such employees' should be 'increased distance is often observed among the families of such employees.' Pay close attention to subject-verb agreement, article usage, and correct tense usage. Proofreading carefully can help identify and correct these errors.

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