Discussion

Band 5+: Task 2: Some people think parents should supervise their children's activities closely, while others believe children should have more freedom. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

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Nowadays, some individuals believe that parents should keep an eye on their kids activities carefully ,while others think children should have more autonomy. I hold view that kids should always have more freedom and a free choice in activities.

On the one hand, some parents can choose for their kid. Some children have a born talent in something, but parents don’t give a choice and kids are forced to attend a club they are not interested in. For example, child has a nature talent in science and wants to study chemistry, but parents decided sent their kid to hockey that they don’t like.

On the other hand, parents should not decided for their child. All people have an opportunity and choice for activities that they will be like and show interest and curious. In addition, If your kid wants to attend dance, you should listen to the child’s choice and support the decision. And I think, parents should respect and take the child’s preferences into account.

In conclusion, although some members of society consider that parents should know a lot and supervise their kids activities, others believe that it is inessential and children should have more freedom in activities. Personally, I am convinced that we should appreciate kids for their choice in activity and give them more opportunities and independence.

Word Count: 220

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Overall Band Score

(+/- 0.5)

Vocabulary Complexity:
B2 - Upper Intermediate
Opt for even more advanced words when appropriate.

Grammar Mistakes: N/A

Vocabulary Repetition:

should: 9

parents: 7

their: 6

choice: 5

activities: 4

children: 3

Try using synonyms for the above words

Task Response

The essay addresses the main parts of the prompt by discussing both views and providing an opinion. However, the ideas presented lack clarity and sufficient development. The examples provided are somewhat simplistic and could benefit from more detailed explanation. To improve, focus on providing more specific and well-supported arguments for each viewpoint and ensure your own position is clearly articulated and consistently maintained throughout the essay. The essay falls short of the required 250 words.

Coherence & Cohesion

The essay demonstrates an attempt to discuss both views and provide an opinion, but the organization could be improved for better clarity. The introduction and conclusion are somewhat basic and could be more engaging. Transitions between sentences and paragraphs are present but could be smoother to enhance the flow of ideas. Consider using more varied cohesive devices to link ideas more effectively. For example, in the second paragraph, the connection between the general statement and the example could be strengthened.

Lexical Resource

The essay uses a range of vocabulary relevant to the topic, but there are instances of imprecise word choice and some awkward phrasing. For example, 'keep an eye on their kids activities carefully' could be rephrased for better impact. To improve, focus on using more precise and varied vocabulary to express your ideas. Consider using a thesaurus to find alternative words and phrases, but ensure they fit the context appropriately. Pay attention to vocabulary repetition to improve the overall score.

Grammatical Range & Accuracy

The essay contains a mix of simple and complex sentence structures, but grammatical errors are noticeable and impact clarity. Errors in verb tense, subject-verb agreement, and article usage are present. For example, 'child has a nature talent' and 'parents decided sent their kid' contain grammatical errors. To improve, focus on reviewing basic grammar rules and proofreading carefully for errors. Practice using a wider range of sentence structures accurately.

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Band 5+: Task 2: Some people think parents should supervise their children's activities closely, while others believe children should have more freedom. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

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Overall Band Score

Task Response

Coherence & Cohesion

Lexical Resource

Grammatical Range & Accuracy

Essays On The Same Topic:

Task 2: Some people think parents should supervise their children’s activities closely, while others believe children should have more freedom. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

Task 2: Some people think parents should supervise their children’s activities closely, while others believe children should have more freedom. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

Task 2: Some people think parents should supervise their children’s activities closely, while others believe children should have more freedom. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

Task 2: Some people think parents should supervise their children’s activities closely, while others believe children should have more freedom. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

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Nowadays, children spend a lot of time on their smartphones. What are the reasons for this? What can parents do to reduce this problem?

Some people think that modern technology has made communication between people less personal. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Young people are often influenced in their behaviour and situations by others of the same age. This is called "peer pressure". Do the advantages outweigh disadvantages ?

despite economic growht in many countries, poverty still exists. what are the main causes, and what mesuares can reduce it

Check Your Own Essay On This Topic?

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