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Band 6+: Task 2: Throughout history, people have dreamed of living in a perfect society but nobody has agreed on what an ideal society would look like. What do you think is the most important element needed to make a society perfect? How can the ideal society be achieved?

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It has been observed that a lot of individuals cherish a thought about an excellent society, while they do not have a vision how it is going to look like. In my essay I will illustrate some elements of the perfect society and show steps how it can be achieved.

First and foremost, I believe that the primary factor of the perfect society is low crime rates because laws are fair as well as they are enforced equally. For example, a country where corrupt officials are punished, residents trust police officers and courts, and everybody respect each others rights. Additionally, everyone has to feel safe returning home after late work, studies, or other activities in the evening or at night. Or for instance, a city where parents not afraid to leave their children playing on the playgrounds.Generally, it could be achieved by the skilled police who regularly patroll the streets.

Secondly, I assume that in the dream community everyone has to have an access to good-quality education systems just like the opportunity to visit free hospitals where you will recieve all required help and be treated well. Nevertheless, if they are not free, then people can be supplied with subsidies or financial bonuses. Subsequantly, this issue also can be solved if governments and well-established organisations invest in the development of local infrastructure and other new powerful projects which focus on fostering conditions of everyday life.

To conclude, transparent legal system, respectful citizens, patrolled streets, equal opportunity to get education, subsidies, and numerious number of high-quality healthcare centres where you will be helped for free are crucial elements of a dream society.

Word Count: 271

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Overall Band Score

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Vocabulary Complexity:
C2 - Complex
Continue to challenge and refine your language choices.

Grammar Mistakes: N/A

Vocabulary Repetition:

society: 4

where: 4

Try using synonyms for the above words

Task Response

The essay addresses the main parts of the prompt by discussing elements of a perfect society and suggesting ways to achieve it. A position is presented, and the main ideas (low crime rates, education, healthcare) are relevant. However, the development of these ideas is somewhat limited and lacks precision. For example, the link between the elements and how they can be achieved is not fully explored, and the conclusion is more of a summary than a developed argument. To improve, ensure each paragraph clearly explains why an element is important and provides more specific, detailed examples of how it can be achieved. Also, avoid minor grammatical and spelling errors (e.g., 'patroll', 'recieve', 'Subsequantly') and aim for a more cohesive structure.

Coherence & Cohesion

The essay has a clear structure with an introduction, body paragraphs, and a conclusion. However, the flow is sometimes disrupted by abrupt transitions and a lack of clear linking between ideas. For example, the shift from discussing crime rates to education in the second body paragraph is not smooth. To improve, use more cohesive devices (e.g., 'Furthermore', 'In addition', 'On the other hand') and ensure each paragraph has a clear central idea that is developed logically. The conclusion could also be more concise and directly summarize the main points.

Lexical Resource

The essay uses a range of vocabulary related to the topic (e.g., 'corrupt officials', 'subsidies', 'infrastructure'), but there are some inaccuracies and awkward phrasings (e.g., 'cherish a thought', 'numerious number', 'fostering conditions'). To improve, focus on using more precise and natural collocations (e.g., 'envision a perfect society', 'equal access to education', 'improve living conditions'). Avoid repetition and try to use more sophisticated vocabulary where appropriate, but ensure it is used correctly.

Grammatical Range & Accuracy

The essay demonstrates a reasonable range of grammatical structures, but there are several errors that affect clarity. For example, 'everybody respect each others rights' should be 'everybody respects each other's rights', and 'parents not afraid' should be 'parents are not afraid'. There are also issues with punctuation (e.g., missing commas) and some awkward sentence constructions. To improve, review subject-verb agreement, use of articles, and punctuation. Also, vary sentence structures to include more complex sentences, but ensure they are grammatically correct.

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Band 6+: Task 2: Throughout history, people have dreamed of living in a perfect society but nobody has agreed on what an ideal society would look like. What do you think is the most important element needed to make a society perfect? How can the ideal society be achieved?

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Task Response

Coherence & Cohesion

Lexical Resource

Grammatical Range & Accuracy

Essays On The Same Topic:

Task 2: Throughout history, people have dreamed of living in a perfect society but nobody has agreed on what an ideal society would look like. What do you think is the most important element needed to make a society perfect? How can the ideal society be achieved?

Task 2: Throughout history, people have dreamed of living in a perfect society but nobody has agreed on what an ideal society would look like. What do you think is the most important element needed to make a society perfect? How can the ideal society be achieved?

Task 2: Throughout history, people have dreamed of living in a perfect society but nobody has agreed on what an ideal society would look like. What do you think is the most important element needed to make a society perfect? How can the ideal society be achieved?

Task 2: Throughout history, people have dreamed of living in a perfect society but nobody has agreed on what an ideal society would look like. What do you think is the most important element needed to make a society perfect? How can the ideal society be achieved?

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Some educators argue that students should be permitted to use artificial intelligence tools when completing their assignments, while others believe that doing so undermines genuine learning.

In many countries, more and more young people are leaving school and unable to find jobs after graduation. What problems do you think youth unemployment will cause to the individual and the society? Give reasons and make some suggestion.

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