Opinion

Band 5+: The best way for a country to prepare for the future is to invest resources in its young people. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

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Some people believe that the best way to improve our future is to invest resources in teenagers.I strongly agree with this opinion because young people have the greatest potential to contribute to society in the future.Although, by providing them education, helthcare and career oportunities, government can help create responsible and a skilled generation.

One main reason to invest to young people, is that they will become the future workforce.If government will spend a lot of money on education, students can develop valuable knowledge and improve their potential skills.As a result, they are more likely to find a job and contribute to the country’s economic growth.

Another important reason, is that supporting teenagers can reduce social problems.In other words,access to sports facilities,extracurricular activities, and mental health services can keep young people engaged in positive activities.This may help lower crime rates and improve well being, self-confidence in society.

In conclusion, I strongly agree that investing resources in young people is the most effective way for government, to provide our future and prepare.Such investments can lead to economic growth and also to become a more successful society.

Word Count: 184

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Overall Band Score

(+/- 0.5)

Vocabulary Complexity:
C2 - Complex
Continue to challenge and refine your language choices.

Grammar Mistakes: N/A

Vocabulary Repetition:

people: 5

young: 4

improve: 3

future: 3

government: 3

Try using synonyms for the above words

Task Response

The essay addresses the prompt and presents a clear position of agreement. The main ideas are relevant and supported with some development. However, there are minor lapses in focus and precision, such as the phrase 'to provide our future' which is unclear. To improve, ensure that all ideas are fully extended and that the language is precise and accurate. Additionally, avoid minor grammatical errors and awkward phrasing to enhance clarity. The essay falls short of the required 250 words.

Coherence & Cohesion

The essay has a clear structure with an introduction, body paragraphs, and a conclusion. However, the flow is sometimes disrupted by awkward phrasing and punctuation errors. For example, the introduction contains a comma splice and an incomplete sentence. The use of cohesive devices is basic, and transitions between ideas could be smoother. To improve, focus on creating more logical connections between sentences and paragraphs, and ensure each paragraph has a clear central idea.

Lexical Resource

The essay uses a range of vocabulary related to the topic, such as 'invest resources', 'future workforce', 'economic growth', and 'social problems'. However, there are some inaccuracies and awkward word choices, such as 'helthcare' (misspelled), 'career oportunities' (misspelled), and 'provide our future' (incorrect phrasing). To improve, expand your vocabulary and use more precise and natural expressions. Also, pay attention to spelling and word forms.

Grammatical Range & Accuracy

The essay contains several grammatical errors, including subject-verb agreement issues, incorrect use of articles, and punctuation problems. For example, 'invest to young people' should be 'invest in young people', and 'government will spend' should be 'the government spends'. There are also run-on sentences and comma splices. To improve, practice using a wider range of sentence structures and ensure grammatical accuracy. Review basic grammar rules, especially for articles, prepositions, and verb tenses.

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Band 5+: The best way for a country to prepare for the future is to invest resources in its young people. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

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Task Response

Coherence & Cohesion

Lexical Resource

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The best way for a country to prepare for the future is to invest resources in its young people. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

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The best way for a country to prepare for the future is to invest resources in its young people. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

The best way for a country to prepare for the future is to invest resources in its young people. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

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