Opinion

Band 4+: The charts below show the changes in ownership of electrical appliances and amount of time spent doing housework in households in one country between 1920 and 2019. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

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The charts illustrate the percentage of households with electrical appliances was undergone changes and amount of time which was expended on doing housework by families in one specific country from 1920 to 2019.

It is immediately obvious that, figures for utilizing washing machines, refrigerators, and vacuum cleaners increased considerably between 1920 and 2019. In contrast, the amount of time that house holds spent on doing chores saw a downward trend during that period of time.

As can be seen, 50 hours in a week were allocated to chores in 1920 which was the highest time in doing housework. Moreover, It had a sharp decrease of 30 hours for 40 consecutive years. After that, from 1960 to 2019, it declined slightly by roughly 10 hours.

According to the data, figures for using all three electrical appliances fluctuated widely from 1920 to 2019 and they experienced upward trends. Refrigerators almost were not utilized in 1920, however, from 1980 to 2019, 100% of families used them. The percentage of people who had washing machines rose slowly by about 40%, while, those who used vacuum cleaners raised rapidly by 70% between 1920 and 2019.

Word Count: 190

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Overall Band Score

(+/- 0.5)

Vocabulary Complexity:
B2 - Upper Intermediate
Opt for even more advanced words when appropriate.

Grammar Mistakes: N/A

Vocabulary Repetition:

doing: 3

Try using synonyms for the above words

Task Response

The essay adequately summarizes the main features of the charts and makes relevant comparisons. However, there are some inaccuracies in the description of the data, such as the mention of specific percentages without reference to the actual data in the charts. Additionally, the essay could benefit from a more thorough exploration of the changes over time. The essay falls short of the required 250 words.

Coherence & Cohesion

The essay is generally easy to follow, but there are some issues with coherence and cohesion. The organization of ideas could be improved for better clarity, and there are some abrupt transitions between different time periods. Additionally, the use of linking words and cohesive devices could be more varied and effective.

Lexical Resource

The essay demonstrates a fairly wide range of vocabulary, but there are instances of imprecise word choice and awkward phrasing. Some inaccuracies in the use of vocabulary and expressions affect the overall fluency and sophistication of the language. More precise and natural language use would enhance the lexical resource.

Grammatical Range & Accuracy

There is a mix of simple and complex sentence structures used in the essay, but there are also noticeable errors in grammar and punctuation. Subject-verb agreement, tense consistency, and sentence construction need improvement for greater grammatical accuracy. Additionally, more varied and sophisticated grammatical structures could be incorporated for a higher score.

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