Discussion

Band 5+: The internet has changed the way we communicate. Much communication today happens through social media. Some people support this and think it is a positive development. Others believe that social media have negative effects. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion. Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

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Some people believe that social media has a good way to communicate. While other argue that have a negative affect. In this essay I will descuss both views before presenting my own opinion.

On the one hand, it is often argued that online communication has a positive effect . One of the main reasons quick and fast contact . For instance , if I need a quick answer or important thing from someone it’s far from my city in this situation social media will make it easy to communicate. Furthermore , from five year ago in Covid-19 there was no gathering with friends and family. But because of social media all peoples still communicate with other in zoom , botim and other contact applications. Which further support this view.

On the other hand, some people believe that social media is a bad effect. This is mainly because of young people’s spend all time at phone. In other world child in 4 to 16 years today can’t doing her daily activities without using social media . Moreover , easy for some bad people to take your private information and spread it every were. Such us my cousin shered here passcode with one laying to her and she trust hem at the end he take all photo in her mobile and make a fake account. Which make argument equally convincing.

In conclusion, although both perspective have this merits. I believe the first hand , using in a good way don’t answer any unknown account and numbers , provide to shere private information with anyone .

Word Count: 263

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Overall Band Score

(+/- 0.5)

Vocabulary Complexity:
B2 - Upper Intermediate
Opt for even more advanced words when appropriate.

Grammar Mistakes: N/A

Vocabulary Repetition:

social: 5

media: 5

other: 5

people: 3

believe: 3

communicate: 3

Try using synonyms for the above words

Task Response

The essay addresses the main parts of the prompt by discussing both the positive and negative aspects of social media. A position is presented, but the ideas lack clarity and sufficient development. The examples provided are somewhat relevant but could be more detailed and persuasive. To improve, focus on providing more specific examples and elaborating on the potential consequences of each viewpoint. Also, ensure that your concluding paragraph summarizes your main points effectively and reinforces your opinion.

Coherence & Cohesion

The essay demonstrates some organization, but the progression of ideas is not always clear. Paragraphing is present, but could be used more effectively to separate distinct points. Transitions between sentences and paragraphs are often weak or missing, making it difficult for the reader to follow the argument. Improve the use of cohesive devices (e.g., conjunctions, pronouns, and transitional phrases) to link ideas more logically.

Lexical Resource

The essay uses a limited range of vocabulary, and there are instances of inaccurate word choice. The language used is quite basic, and there is little evidence of sophisticated or idiomatic expressions. To improve, focus on expanding your vocabulary and using more precise language. Pay attention to collocations and the appropriate use of words in context. Boost vocabulary complexity to elevate the overall score.

Grammatical Range & Accuracy

The essay contains frequent grammatical errors, including errors in verb tense, subject-verb agreement, article usage, and sentence structure. These errors often impede understanding. There is a limited range of sentence structures, and many sentences are awkwardly phrased. To improve, focus on mastering basic grammar rules and practicing sentence construction. Proofread carefully to identify and correct errors.

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