Opinion

Band 6+: The only reason for learning a foreign language is work or travel. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

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Nowadays, some people believe that work and travel are the only reason why people learn languages. I disagree with this idea, because some people simply find learning languages entertaining and enjoy the process of it.

On the one hand, it is believed that language skills are important to work in abroad or for travelling. Given that foreign companies demand those skills, people often learn additional language besides their native ones. For example, an Indian person with good IT skills wants to work in abroad; however, they get rejected because of poor language skills. Consequently, they must learn foreign language for better career opportunities.

On the other hand, work and travel are not the only factors why people learn languages. Another contributing factor is people’s interests, because some people love the process of learning language and they set a goal of learning more than 2 languages throughout their lives. From my own experience, although I have never travelled to China, I started to learn Chinese because of a popular cartoon called ‘Kong Fu Panda’. In addition, some people can learn foreign language just to make their activities more enjoyable such as scrolling on social media, or watching movies without subtitles. Consequently, the fact that the only reason for learning a foreign language is work or travel can be incorrect for some people.

In conclusion, although some people think that languages should be learned only for career and travel purposes, I do not agree with this view, as personal desires can also be an important factor why people learn languages.

Word Count: 258

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Overall Band Score

6.5

(+/- 0.5)

Vocabulary Complexity:
C1 - Intricate
Strive to incorporate even richer and more precise language.

Grammar Mistakes: N/A

Vocabulary Repetition:

people: 9

learn: 7

language: 7

languages: 6

travel: 4

because: 4

learning: 4

skills: 4

foreign: 4

their: 3

Try using synonyms for the above words

Task Response

The essay addresses the prompt and presents a clear position of disagreement. The main ideas are relevant and supported with examples, such as the Indian IT worker and the personal experience with Chinese. However, the development of the argument could be more thorough. The first body paragraph focuses on why work and travel are important reasons, but it does not fully explore the counter-argument or provide a more nuanced discussion. The second body paragraph provides a good personal example, but the point about social media and movies could be elaborated further. To improve, consider expanding on the reasons why people learn languages for personal interest, and perhaps acknowledge the importance of work and travel while arguing that they are not the only reasons. Additionally, ensure that each paragraph has a clear topic sentence and that the conclusion summarizes the main points more effectively.

Coherence & Cohesion

The essay is logically organized with clear paragraphs and a straightforward progression of ideas. The introduction presents the writer's position, followed by two body paragraphs (one for the opposing view, one for the writer's view) and a conclusion. However, cohesion could be improved by using a wider range of linking devices and ensuring smoother transitions between ideas. For example, the phrase 'On the one hand' is used but not followed by 'On the other hand' in the same paragraph structure, which slightly disrupts the flow. Additionally, the conclusion could be more concise and directly restate the main points. Overall, the message is clear and easy to follow, but there is room for more sophisticated cohesive devices.

Lexical Resource

The essay demonstrates a good range of vocabulary, with some effective use of topic-specific terms such as 'career opportunities', 'personal desires', and 'contributing factor'. There are also some natural collocations like 'foreign companies demand those skills' and 'set a goal'. However, there are a few instances of awkward phrasing, such as 'work in abroad' (should be 'work abroad') and 'the fact that the only reason... can be incorrect' (could be more naturally expressed as 'the idea that... is not entirely accurate'). The vocabulary is generally appropriate and accurate, but more sophisticated and precise word choices would elevate the lexical resource score. Pay attention to vocabulary repetition to improve the overall score.

Grammatical Range & Accuracy

The essay uses a mix of simple and complex sentence structures, showing a good range of grammar. For example, the use of conditional structures ('if they get rejected') and subordinate clauses ('because some people love the process') is effective. However, there are several grammatical errors and awkward phrasings that affect accuracy. For instance, 'work in abroad' should be 'work abroad', 'besides their native ones' is slightly awkward (better: 'in addition to their native language'), and 'the fact that the only reason... can be incorrect' is grammatically awkward. Additionally, there are minor punctuation issues, such as missing commas after introductory phrases. Overall, the grammar is generally accurate, but the errors are noticeable and slightly detract from the overall quality.

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