Opinion

Band 5+: The role of education is to prepare children for the modern world. Schools should cut arts and music out of the curriculum so that children can focus on useful subjects such as information technology. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

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traditions in the past.

Moreover, learning art and music is seen as therapeutic, allowing children to relax after they attend the most complex subjects involving math, science, and chemistry. According to the study in the UK, children who participated in art and music classes once they had finished a difficult one requiring analytical knowledge like math showed a significant improvement in their mood compared to those who had not joined them. So art and music lessons prove rewarding, and they need not be cut off to improve pupils’ focus on information technology.

To conclude, the modern role of education sometimes leads many school authorities to cut art and music classes. While this gives some free time to study information technology, which is a gateway to professional growth, the arts and music do play a crucial role in boosting their mood and understanding history and national culture. In my opinion, they should not be removed from curriculum.

Word Count: 156

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Overall Band Score

5.5

(+/- 0.5)

Vocabulary Complexity:
C2 - Complex
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Grammar Mistakes: N/A

Vocabulary Repetition:

music: 5

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Task Response

The essay presents a clear argument against removing arts and music from the curriculum. It effectively addresses the prompt by exploring the benefits of these subjects and their relevance to the modern world. The essay provides a well-developed position and supports its claims with relevant examples and reasoning. However, it could benefit from further elaboration on the specific ways in which arts and music contribute to a child's overall development and preparedness for the modern world. The essay falls short of the required 250 words.

Coherence & Cohesion

6.5

The essay is well-organized and easy to follow. Ideas are presented logically and flow smoothly from one paragraph to the next. Transitions are used effectively to connect ideas and create a cohesive whole. The essay demonstrates a clear understanding of the topic and presents a well-structured argument.

Lexical Resource

5.5

The essay uses a wide range of vocabulary, demonstrating a good command of English. The language is generally accurate and appropriate for the topic. There are some instances where more sophisticated vocabulary could be used to enhance the essay's impact.

Grammatical Range & Accuracy

5.5

The essay demonstrates a good command of grammar and sentence structure. There are a few minor grammatical errors, but they do not significantly hinder the clarity or flow of the essay. The essay uses a variety of sentence structures effectively.

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