Opinion

Band 4+: What are the reasons for the difficulty in balancing work and personal lives, and what can employers do to help?

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In recent years, people’s living has been more hectic than ever before . A number of people struggle to keep balance between their work and personal life. People’s too much workloads and financials desires can be cause for this problem. To deal with this, individuals should try to follow flexible working hours and improve their time management.

It is important to note that people have heavy workloads. They spent most of their time for working and employees often work overtime as a result, they feel tedious after work and have little time for family , rest or hobbies. Furthermore, many individuals have pressure and responsibilities financially. They desire high salaries and promotion, besides costly expenditures force people to work harder.

To tackle this issues workers should offer flexible working hours or remote their works. By this way they can spend much time for their families and relaxing. When employees are not under pressure, they do not get much tiredness can work more productively and efficiently. In addition, individuals should improve time management. They should set clear priorities in their life between work and personal lives. Moreover, avoiding unnecessary overtime working and spending time for exercise and relaxation.

In conclusion, people can keep balance between their work and personal life by setting workload flexibility and prioritizing their life.

Word Count: 217

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Overall Band Score

(+/- 0.5)

Vocabulary Complexity:
C1 - Intricate
Strive to incorporate even richer and more precise language.

Grammar Mistakes: N/A

Vocabulary Repetition:

their: 8

people: 4

should: 4

working: 4

between: 3

personal: 3

individuals: 3

Try using synonyms for the above words

Task Response

The essay addresses the main parts of the prompt by identifying causes (heavy workloads and financial pressures) and suggesting measures (flexible working hours and time management). A clear position is presented. However, the development of ideas lacks precision and depth; for example, the causes are mentioned but not fully explained or supported with specific examples. The measures are relevant but could be more detailed and logically connected. To improve, ensure each paragraph fully extends and supports the main ideas with concrete examples or further explanation. Also, proofread for grammatical errors and awkward phrasing (e.g., 'people's too much workloads', 'they feel tedious', 'to tackle this issues'). The essay falls short of the required 250 words.

Coherence & Cohesion

The essay has a clear structure with an introduction, body paragraphs, and a conclusion. However, the flow is sometimes disrupted by awkward phrasing and lack of clear transitions between ideas. The paragraphing is adequate but could be more skillfully managed. To improve, use more cohesive devices such as 'firstly', 'secondly', 'in addition', and 'as a result' to link ideas more smoothly. Also, ensure each paragraph focuses on a single main idea.

Lexical Resource

The vocabulary is adequate but limited and sometimes used incorrectly. For example, 'financials desires' should be 'financial desires', and 'tedious' is used incorrectly (should be 'tired' or 'fatigued'). There is some attempt at using less common vocabulary like 'hectic', 'flexible working hours', and 'prioritizing', but overall the range is narrow. To improve, expand your vocabulary by learning synonyms and collocations related to work-life balance, such as 'striking a balance', 'workload management', 'leisure time', and 'financial obligations'. Use words accurately and naturally. Boost vocabulary complexity to elevate the overall score.

Grammatical Range & Accuracy

The essay contains numerous grammatical errors and awkward phrasing that affect clarity. Examples include: 'people's living has been more hectic' (should be 'people's lives have become more hectic'), 'can be cause for this problem' (should be 'can be the cause of this problem'), 'they spent most of their time for working' (should be 'they spend most of their time working'), 'they feel tedious after work' (should be 'they feel tired after work'), 'To tackle this issues' (should be 'To tackle these issues'), 'remote their works' (should be 'work remotely'), 'they do not get much tiredness can work more productively' (run-on sentence). There is some variety in sentence structures, but errors are frequent. To improve, focus on subject-verb agreement, correct use of articles, prepositions, and sentence structure. Practice writing more complex sentences accurately.

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