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Band 4+: With the rise of personalized medicine, should governments prioritize funding for treatments tailored to individuals, or should they focus on broader public health initiatives? What are the potential benefits and drawbacks of each approach?

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These days, medicine has been improved to support healthy life. In my opinion, goverment should continue their action on treatment that impact citizen widely. This essay will explain why goverment need takes part more on more population rather on individuals.

To begin with, goverment need to be more fair on society. All of people need some treatment to cure their illness, not just individuals. So, goverment need to see that there are many people that need help from them. For instance, if they only prioritize their work on funding therapies for some individuals only, they will forget other citizen. As a result citizen that succsesfully cured from goverment help.

Furthermore, it is goverment job to make sure all of their citizen get their health treatment, not only several groups or individuals. The reason is because one of the goverment duties are making people who live in the country are safe. For example, goverment could make a program that can support healthcare for their people. Therefore, society will fully trust the goverment because of their job.

To sum up, it is goverment job to make sure all of the people who live in the country get their rights or healthcare services.

Word Count: 200

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Overall Band Score

(+/- 0.5)

Vocabulary Complexity:
B2 - Upper Intermediate
Opt for even more advanced words when appropriate.

Grammar Mistakes: N/A

Vocabulary Repetition:

goverment: 10

their: 8

people: 5

citizen: 4

treatment: 3

individuals: 3

Try using synonyms for the above words

Task Response

The essay addresses the main parts of the prompt by presenting a position and offering reasons why governments should prioritize treatments benefiting the broader population. However, the ideas lack clarity and sufficient development. The examples provided are somewhat generic and could be more specific to strengthen the arguments. To improve, focus on providing more detailed explanations and concrete examples to support your claims. Also, consider addressing the ethical considerations mentioned in the prompt to provide a more comprehensive response. The essay falls short of the required 250 words.

Coherence & Cohesion

The essay demonstrates some organization, but the progression of ideas is not always clear. The introduction and conclusion are basic. Transitions between sentences and paragraphs could be improved to enhance the flow of the argument. Consider using more varied cohesive devices to link ideas more effectively.

Lexical Resource

The vocabulary used is quite limited and sometimes inaccurate. There are instances of inappropriate word choice. To improve, focus on expanding your vocabulary and using more precise language to convey your ideas. Pay attention to collocations and the nuances of word meanings. Pay attention to vocabulary repetition to improve the overall score.

Grammatical Range & Accuracy

The essay contains numerous grammatical errors, including incorrect verb tenses, subject-verb agreement issues, and awkward sentence structures. These errors impede understanding. Work on improving your understanding of basic grammar rules and sentence construction. Proofread carefully to identify and correct errors.

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Band 4+: With the rise of personalized medicine, should governments prioritize funding for treatments tailored to individuals, or should they focus on broader public health initiatives? What are the potential benefits and drawbacks of each approach?

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Task Response

Coherence & Cohesion

Lexical Resource

Grammatical Range & Accuracy

Essays On The Same Topic:

With the rise of personalized medicine, should governments prioritize funding for treatments tailored to individuals, or should they focus on broader public health initiatives? What are the potential benefits and drawbacks of each approach?

With the rise of personalized medicine, should governments prioritize funding for treatments tailored to individuals, or should they focus on broader public health initiatives? What are the potential benefits and drawbacks of each approach?

With the rise of personalized medicine, should governments prioritize funding for treatments tailored to individuals, or should they focus on broader public health initiatives? What are the potential benefits and drawbacks of each approach?

With the rise of personalized medicine, should governments prioritize funding for treatments tailored to individuals, or should they focus on broader public health initiatives? What are the potential benefits and drawbacks of each approach?

With the rise of personalized medicine, should governments prioritize funding for treatments tailored to individuals, or should they focus on broader public health initiatives? What are the potential benefits and drawbacks of each approach?

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Some people believe that having a conversation on a mobile phone in a public or crowded place should be banned. Others feel that we should be able to talk wherever we like. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

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