Opinion

Band 5+: WRITING 2: Some people think living in big cities is bad for people's health. To what extent do you agree or disagree? (250 words)

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There is a view that living in large cities has a negative impact on people’s health. I disagree with this opinion for two main reasons.

One key reason why I disagree with this idea of big cities have developed medical clinics and are equipped with modern medical equipment. This is important because it allows to get quick check-up treatment whenever they feel ill. In many rural areas, people often have to travel for hours to find a good doctor. In contrast, city dwellers can reach a hospital in minutes, which is life-saving during emergencies like heart attacks or serious accidents

In addition, living in a large city makes it easier to stay active and exercise regularly. There are many gyms and swimming pools available for everyone. This encourages people to do sports and stay fit, which is very beneficial for their physical healthy.

In conclusion, although some people think cities are bad for healthy, I believe they are actually better because of modern hospitals and great sport facilities.

Word Count: 168

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Overall Band Score

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Vocabulary Complexity:
C1 - Intricate
Strive to incorporate even richer and more precise language.

Grammar Mistakes: N/A

Vocabulary Repetition:

cities: 3

people: 3

Try using synonyms for the above words

Task Response

The essay addresses the prompt and presents a clear position. The main ideas are relevant but could benefit from more detailed explanations and examples. To improve, focus on developing each point more fully and ensuring a strong connection between the ideas and the overall argument. The essay falls short of the required 250 words.

Coherence & Cohesion

The essay presents a clear position and supports it with relevant reasons. The structure is logical, with an introduction, two body paragraphs, and a conclusion. Transitions between sentences and paragraphs are generally smooth, contributing to the overall coherence. To further enhance cohesion, consider using a wider range of cohesive devices to link ideas more explicitly.

Lexical Resource

The essay demonstrates an adequate range of vocabulary to express the main ideas. However, the language used is somewhat basic and could benefit from more sophisticated word choices and idiomatic expressions. For example, instead of 'good doctor,' consider using 'specialist' or 'experienced physician.' Expanding your vocabulary and using more precise language will improve the overall quality of your writing. Boost vocabulary complexity to elevate the overall score.

Grammatical Range & Accuracy

The essay demonstrates a fair range of grammatical structures, but there are noticeable errors that affect clarity. For instance, in the first body paragraph, there are issues with verb tense and subject-verb agreement. While the overall meaning is understandable, correcting these errors would improve the essay's grammatical accuracy. Focus on reviewing and correcting common grammatical mistakes to enhance the clarity and precision of your writing.

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