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Band 5+: the bar chart gives information about the life expectancy in Japan, Korea, the USA, and Indonesia, and the table shows the change in life expectancy between 1953 and 2008.

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The image features a bar chart showing life expectancy in 2008 for Japan (82), Korea (78), USA (76), and Indonesia (70), plus a table detailing life expectancy increases from 1953 to 2008 for Japan (+33.5), Korea (+12.5), USA (+3), and Indonesia (+15.7).

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The chart provides the life expectancy in four countries, japan, korea, the united state, and indonesia, for people born 2008. The table demonstrate the alter in life expectancy between 1953 and 2008.

Overall, japan’s life expectancy chart was high, USA and korea were quite close, indonesia was much lower. However indonesia had the the highest increare in life expectancy.

Japen held the lead, with an expectency up to 83 to these who were born in 2008, followed by korea with a small gap, roughly at 79. Next is the USA close to korea reaching 75. The gap widen with indonesia, as that it is at 70.

Though indonesia was the lowest in the bar chart, it was the highest the table with an increase in life expectancy to 15.7. Korea’s rose by 12.5, while japans’s showed an enourmes desparity by a rise of only 3.5, USA’s was not promising either, as it was only +3.

Word Count: 155

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Overall Band Score

(+/- 0.5)

Vocabulary Complexity:
B1 - Intermediate
Using more sophisticated words could be beneficial.

Grammar Mistakes: N/A

Vocabulary Repetition:

indonesia: 5

expectancy: 4

korea: 4

chart: 3

Try using synonyms for the above words

Task Response

The report covers the requirements of the task, providing an overview of the life expectancies in the four countries and the changes between 1953 and 2008. There are some minor inaccuracies (e.g., Japan's increase in life expectancy) and a few lapses in language. To improve, ensure data accuracy and vary sentence structure for a more sophisticated response.

Coherence & Cohesion

The report lacks clear paragraphing and transitions, making it difficult to follow the information. The organization of ideas could be improved by grouping related points together and using cohesive devices to link sentences and paragraphs more effectively. For example, you could dedicate one paragraph to describing the life expectancy in 2008 and another to discussing the changes between 1953 and 2008.

Lexical Resource

The vocabulary used is basic and lacks precision. There are instances of incorrect word choice ('alter' instead of 'change,' 'expectency' instead of 'expectancy,' 'enourmes desparity' instead of 'enormous disparity'). To improve, try to use a wider range of vocabulary and pay attention to the correct usage of words. Consider using synonyms and more specific terms to describe the data. Boost vocabulary complexity to elevate the overall score.

Grammatical Range & Accuracy

The report contains numerous grammatical errors, including incorrect verb tenses, subject-verb agreement issues, and punctuation mistakes. For example, 'Japen held the lead' should be 'Japan held the lead,' and 'indonesia was the highest the table' should be 'Indonesia had the highest increase in the table'. Focus on improving your understanding of basic grammar rules and proofread carefully to catch errors.

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