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Band 5+: the bar chart gives information about the life expectancy in Japan, Korea, the USA, and Indonesia, and the table shows the change in life expectancy between 1953 and 2008.

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The image features a bar chart showing life expectancy in 2008 for Japan (82), Korea (78), USA (76), and Indonesia (70), plus a table detailing life expectancy increases from 1953 to 2008 for Japan (+33.5), Korea (+12.5), USA (+3), and Indonesia (+15.7).

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The given bar graph illustrates about the life average age in four countries: Japan, Korea, the United States, and Indonesia, while the table chart demonstrates the differents of those nations’s life expectancy between 1953 and 2008.

Overall, while Japan had the biggest number of life expectancy, the opposite was true for that of Indonesia. Moreover, the increase in life expectancy of Korea and Indonesia had a lot of changed while those of Japan and United States were lower.

According to the numbers of life average age, Japan’s life average age was the highest country, around 81 years, followed by nearly 79 years from that of Korea. he numbers of life average age of USA and Indonesia were the smailest nations, with 77 years and 70 years, respectively.

Talking about the changed in life expectancy between 1953 and 2008, the changed in life average age of Indonesia leaded the board with the 15.7 years over 55 years. Besides that of Korea was in the second, with the growth of 12.5 years between 1953 and 2008. Japan and United States had the nearly same numbers, with 3.5 years and 3 years, respectively.

Word Count: 190

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Overall Band Score

5.5

(+/- 0.5)

Vocabulary Complexity:
B2 - Upper Intermediate
Opt for even more advanced words when appropriate.

Grammar Mistakes: N/A

Vocabulary Repetition:

years: 9

average: 5

indonesia: 5

japan: 4

korea: 4

expectancy: 4

united: 3

states: 3

while: 3

between: 3

changed: 3

numbers: 3

Try using synonyms for the above words

Task Response

The report covers the main features of the bar chart and table, making relevant comparisons. There are some inaccuracies in the data reported (e.g., Japan's life expectancy in 2008, changes in life expectancy for Japan). To improve, ensure data accuracy and vary sentence structure for a more sophisticated response.

Coherence & Cohesion

The report demonstrates an attempt to organize information into paragraphs, but the flow of ideas within paragraphs could be improved. Transitions between sentences and paragraphs are sometimes abrupt, affecting the overall coherence. For instance, the shift from the overall statement to specific data points in the second and third paragraphs needs smoother transitions. Consider using cohesive devices like 'In contrast,' 'Similarly,' or 'Furthermore' to link ideas more effectively. Also, avoid repetition by using pronouns or synonyms to refer back to previously mentioned subjects.

Lexical Resource

The report uses a limited range of vocabulary, and there are instances of imprecise word choice (e.g., 'life average age,' 'biggest number'). While the vocabulary is generally relevant to the topic, it lacks sophistication and variety. To improve, try to incorporate synonyms and more specific terms related to life expectancy and demographic trends. For example, instead of 'biggest number,' you could use 'highest life expectancy' or 'greatest longevity.' Also, ensure that the vocabulary used is accurate and appropriate for academic writing.

Grammatical Range & Accuracy

The report contains several grammatical errors that affect clarity and accuracy. Common errors include incorrect article usage ('the life average age'), subject-verb agreement issues ('the changed in life average age of Indonesia leaded the board'), and awkward phrasing ('a lot of changed'). Sentence structure is also somewhat simplistic, limiting the expression of complex ideas. To improve, focus on mastering basic grammar rules and sentence structures. Practice using a variety of sentence types (e.g., complex sentences with subordinate clauses) to express relationships between ideas more effectively. Proofread carefully to identify and correct errors in grammar and punctuation.

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