Process Diagram

Band 5+: The diagram below shows how drinking water is made using solar power. Summarize the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

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Image for topic: The diagram below shows how drinking water is made using solar power. Summarize the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

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The image depicts a solar-powered water extraction and delivery system. Sunlight powers a solar panel, which generates electricity via a converter connected to a pump inserted into an underground well. The pump draws water, moving it through a pipeline into a water tank situated on a wooden platform. A water tank has an exit point connected to a tap that dispenses drinking water into a movable container.

Given the complexity of the image, the above description may not be entirely accurate.

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The process illustrates the manufacturing of a drinking water, useing the sun power powdered pump and filtration.

Overall, it is clear that producing drinking water requires to utilise the sunlight and includes a serial of stages.

Initially, the sunlight achieves a solar panel, which accumulates the sun power. Then the solar panel by a wire connects with a converter, where the sun power turns into a electricity. Afterwards, the electricity leads to work of a pump, that is located under a water in underground well. The next stage is a pumping a water through a tube. The tube opens into a water tank, installing on a wooden platform. This is followed by a water filtration, then a pure water flows to a out tube. Finally, clear water is spilled in moveable container.

Word Count: 132

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Overall Band Score

5.5

(+/- 0.5)

Vocabulary Complexity:
C1 - Intricate
Strive to incorporate even richer and more precise language.

Grammar Mistakes: N/A

Vocabulary Repetition:

water: 8

power: 3

Try using synonyms for the above words

Task Response

The report adequately covers the process of producing drinking water using solar power. The description of the stages is generally clear and follows a logical sequence. To improve, focus on using more precise language and avoiding redundancy. For instance, vary your sentence structure and use more specific vocabulary related to water purification and solar power technology. Also, ensure that each stage of the process is distinctly described to enhance clarity. The report falls short of the required 150 words.

Coherence & Cohesion

The report presents the information in a generally logical sequence, following the stages of the process. However, the writing could benefit from improved transitions between stages to enhance flow and clarity. Consider using more varied cohesive devices to link ideas and sentences more smoothly. Paragraphing is adequate but could be refined to group related ideas more effectively.

Lexical Resource

The report uses vocabulary that is generally appropriate to the task, but there is room for improvement in terms of precision and variety. Some word choices are not entirely accurate or natural. For example, consider alternatives for phrases like 'achieves a solar panel' and 'sun power powdered pump.' Expanding your range of vocabulary related to processes and equipment would enhance the report.

Grammatical Range & Accuracy

The report contains several grammatical errors that affect clarity. Common issues include incorrect verb forms ('useing,' 'accumulates'), inappropriate articles ('a electricity'), and awkward sentence structures. There are also issues with preposition usage ('under a water'). To improve, focus on mastering basic grammar rules and sentence construction. Proofreading carefully for errors in verb tense, subject-verb agreement, and article usage is essential.

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