Bar Chart

Band 6+: The chart below shows the amount of leisure time enjoyed by men and women of different employment status.Write a report for a university lecturer describing the information shown below.

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Image for topic: The chart below shows the amount of leisure time enjoyed by men and women of different employment status.Write a report for a university lecturer describing the information shown below.

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The image indicates leisure time in hours per week by sex and employment status for 1998-99, showing: Employed full-time, Males at approx. 45 hours, Females at approx. 24 hours; Employed part-time, Males at approx. 50 hours, Females at approx. 48 hours; Unemployed, Males at 80 hours, Females at approx. 78 hours; Retired, Males at 82 hours, Females at approx. 76 hours; Housewives, Females at 54 hours, with no equivalent data for Males.

Given the complexity of the image, the above description may not be entirely accurate.

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The chart shows the amount of leisure time of men and women with different employment status.

Overall, it could be extrapolated from the graph that unemployed and retired people enjoy the most their free time, meanwhile employed full time citizens do not have such pleasure. Then it could be inferred that males, who are employed part time and housewives, do not have any free time.

The trends are almost equal for males and females unemployed, retired and employed full time, with a small difference among the two genders (men are sorpassing women of roughly 10 hours). The peak is reached by unemployed males, which enjoy 83 hours of leisure time, immediately followed by retired males, who have roughly 82 hours. The maximum for women coincides with the approximated value of 75 hours of leisure time, and then followed by housewives which have almost 55 hours of free time.

Then both women, employed full time and part time, enjoy the same amount of leisure time, which is roughly 40 hours (slightly less for the full time females).

Yet, there is a radical change in trend for men. Except for full time employed, who still enjoy some free time (almost 50 hours), employed part time and housewives men do not really have any amount of leisure time.

Word Count: 215

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Overall Band Score

6.5

(+/- 0.5)

Vocabulary Complexity:
B2 - Upper Intermediate
Opt for even more advanced words when appropriate.

Grammar Mistakes: N/A

Vocabulary Repetition:

employed: 6

leisure: 5

hours: 5

women: 4

enjoy: 4

males: 4

amount: 3

unemployed: 3

retired: 3

housewives: 3

roughly: 3

which: 3

Try using synonyms for the above words

Task Response

The report covers the main trends and key data points from the chart, but there are some inaccuracies and misinterpretations. For example, the report states that males who are employed part-time and housewives do not have any free time, which is not correct according to the data provided. Also, the report mentions that women employed full-time and part-time enjoy roughly the same amount of leisure time, which is not entirely accurate. To improve, ensure all data interpretations are accurate and directly supported by the visual information. Also, avoid inferring data that is not present.

Coherence & Cohesion

The report is generally understandable, but the organization could be improved. The structure feels somewhat disjointed, and the flow of information isn't always smooth. Consider grouping information more logically, perhaps by employment status or gender, to enhance coherence. The report could benefit from clearer topic sentences at the beginning of each paragraph to guide the reader. Also, avoid abrupt transitions between ideas.

Lexical Resource

The report demonstrates a sufficient range of vocabulary to discuss the data, but there's room for more precise and sophisticated word choices. For instance, instead of repeatedly using 'enjoy,' consider synonyms like 'have,' 'experience,' or 'benefit from,' depending on the context. While the vocabulary is generally accurate, refining word choices can elevate the writing.

Grammatical Range & Accuracy

The report exhibits a mix of simple and complex sentence structures, but grammatical errors and phrasing issues impact clarity. Pay close attention to subject-verb agreement, correct tense usage, and accurate preposition usage. Review and correct grammatical errors to improve the overall quality of the writing. Proofreading is essential to catch these errors.

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