Pie Chart

Band 5+: The pie chart compares the percentage of pupils who graduated from Brington university in the year 2019 and entered in numerous job

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The image shows a pie chart titled 'Employment sectors of graduates from Brighton University, 2019', detailing the proportions of graduates in various sectors: Service industries (33.0%), Manufacturing industry (16.3%), Education (14.7%), Politics & government (12.1%), Transportation and warehousing (7.8%), Science & technology (7.3%), Civil service (5.6%), Other (2.8%), Charity (0.3%), and Sport (0.1%).

Given the complexity of the image, the above description may not be entirely accurate.

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The given pie chart illustrates the proportion of students who graduated from brington university in the year 2019 and entered in numerous work .

overall , employment sectors of graduates from brington university ,the highest sectors of service industries and the lowest sectors of sport and charity .

on the one hand , services industries sectors for the highest proportion of brington university ,at 33.0 %.manufacturing industry represents the second largest sectors, making up 16.3% total percentage of graduates.sport and charity sectors of graduates a lowest percentage ,at 0.1% and 0.35%.Similarly , other sectors of graduates at 2.8%.

on the other hand , politics and government service were the most popular choice just over 12.1% and the other popular service education about 15% in the over period .students choice the civil service sectors at 5.6%% and the transporting and warehousing at almost 8 percent . at last science and technology sectors of graduates at 7.3%.

Word Count: 155

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Overall Band Score

(+/- 0.5)

Vocabulary Complexity:
C1 - Intricate
Strive to incorporate even richer and more precise language.

Grammar Mistakes: N/A

Vocabulary Repetition:

sectors: 9

graduates: 4

service: 4

brington: 3

university: 3

other: 3

Try using synonyms for the above words

Task Response

The report adequately addresses the task by summarizing the information presented in the pie chart. The overview is clear, and the main features are identified. The data is mostly accurate, though there are some minor inaccuracies. The organization is logical, with a clear division into paragraphs. To improve, ensure all data points are accurate and consider using more varied language to describe the proportions.

Coherence & Cohesion

The report demonstrates an attempt to organize information into paragraphs, but the flow of ideas is not always smooth. Transitions between sentences and paragraphs could be improved to enhance coherence. For instance, the shift from discussing the highest sectors to the lowest sectors in the overview could be more clearly linked. The use of 'on the one hand' and 'on the other hand' is present, but the connection between the ideas presented in each paragraph could be strengthened. Consider using more varied cohesive devices to improve the overall flow.

Lexical Resource

The vocabulary used is relatively basic and lacks precision. There are instances of repetitive word choices (e.g., 'sectors of graduates'). To improve, try to incorporate a wider range of vocabulary related to proportions and employment, such as 'constituted,' 'accounted for,' or 'represented.' Also, avoid direct repetition by using synonyms or rephrasing sentences.

Grammatical Range & Accuracy

The report contains several grammatical errors, including incorrect article usage ('the brington university'), subject-verb agreement issues, and awkward phrasing ('entered in numerous work'). Sentence structures are generally simple, limiting the demonstration of grammatical range. To improve, focus on using a variety of sentence structures (e.g., complex sentences) and carefully proofread for grammatical errors. Pay attention to correct preposition usage and article usage.

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