Pie Chart

Band 5+: The charts show the percentage of people working in different sectors in Townsend in two years 1960 and 2010. Summarize the information by selecting and reporting the main features and making comparisons where relevant.

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Image for topic: The charts show the percentage of people working in different sectors in Townsend in two years 1960 and 2010. Summarize the information by selecting and reporting the main features and making comparisons where relevant.

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The image presents four pie charts comparing employment structures in Town A and Town B during 1960 and 2010. In 1960, Town A had 29% Manufacturing, 30% Sales, and 41% Services, whereas in 2010, the percentages changed to 20% Manufacturing, 16% Sales, and 64% Services. For Town B, the 1960 numbers show 20% Manufacturing, 10% Sales, and 70% Services, with a shift in 2010 displaying 22% Manufacturing, 25% Sales, and 58% Services.

Given the complexity of the image, the above description may not be entirely accurate.

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The pie chart illustrates the percentage of people working in three different sectors – Manufacturing, Sales, and Services in Townsend in two years 1960 and 2010.

In comparison with Town A and B, Town A at 1960’s shows people worked more on manufacturing unit which had a drastic fall in 2010’s where 64% of people works for services. However, Town B showed no significant changes but there is some minor changes in the percentage. Though people preference of working on manufacturing unit is still the highest among three other categories.

Town A in 1960’s where people mostly employed in the manufacturing unit as 41% of them worked there where as the balance were split into 29% and 30% shares among services and sales. By 2010 rather than manufacturing unit people worked more on service department around 64% and the remaining divided between sales and services as 16% and 20% each.

Town B in 1960’s 70% of workers in manufacturing unit then 20% of them in sales and balance 10% were for services.However in 2010 there is no major changes as the ranking of categories by percentage of employees were still same but there was a 12% decline in manufacturing which is later sumed up to sales and services.

Word Count: 208

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Overall Band Score

5.5

(+/- 0.5)

Vocabulary Complexity:
B2 - Upper Intermediate
Opt for even more advanced words when appropriate.

Grammar Mistakes: N/A

Vocabulary Repetition:

manufacturing: 7

people: 6

sales: 5

services: 5

there: 4

percentage: 3

1960's: 3

worked: 3

where: 3

changes: 3

Try using synonyms for the above words

Task Response

The report addresses the task, but there are some inaccuracies and a lack of clarity. The organization could be improved with a clearer overview and more distinct paragraphs for each town. Focus on providing precise data and avoid generalizations. Also, ensure correct grammar and sentence structure for better readability.

Coherence & Cohesion

The report's organization is somewhat unclear, and the flow of information could be improved. The introduction is adequate, but the subsequent paragraphs lack clear topic sentences and transitions, making it difficult to follow the comparisons between Town A and Town B across the two time periods. Consider using more explicit linking words and phrases to guide the reader through the data. For example, use phrases like 'In contrast,' 'Similarly,' or 'However' to highlight comparisons and contrasts. Also, ensure each paragraph focuses on a specific aspect of the data to improve coherence.

Lexical Resource

The vocabulary used is generally appropriate but could be more precise and varied. There are instances of repetitive language (e.g., 'people worked more on'). To enhance lexical resource, try to incorporate synonyms and more specific terms related to employment sectors and trends. For example, instead of 'worked more on,' consider using phrases like 'were primarily employed in' or 'were predominantly engaged in.' Also, avoid informal language such as 'sumed up to.'

Grammatical Range & Accuracy

The report contains several grammatical errors that affect clarity. Common issues include incorrect verb tense usage (e.g., 'Town A at 1960's shows'), subject-verb agreement problems, and awkward phrasing. For example, the sentence 'Town B in 1960's 70% of workers in manufacturing unit then 20% of them in sales and balance 10% were for services' is grammatically incorrect and difficult to understand. To improve grammatical accuracy, carefully proofread your work and focus on constructing clear, grammatically correct sentences. Pay attention to verb tenses, subject-verb agreement, and sentence structure.

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Band 5+: The charts show the percentage of people working in different sectors in Townsend in two years 1960 and 2010. Summarize the information by selecting and reporting the main features and making comparisons where relevant.

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Task Response

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Lexical Resource

Grammatical Range & Accuracy

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The charts show the percentage of people working in different sectors in Townsend in two years 1960 and 2010. Summarize the information by selecting and reporting the main features and making comparisons where relevant.

The charts show the percentage of people working in different sectors in Townsend in two years 1960 and 2010. Summarize the information by selecting and reporting the main features and making comparisons where relevant.

The charts show the percentage of people working in different sectors in Townsend in two years 1960 and 2010. Summarize the information by selecting and reporting the main features and making comparisons where relevant.

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