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Band 6+: he maps show Southside, a shopping mall, as it is now and plans for its development

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Image for topic: he maps show Southside, a shopping mall, as it is now and plans for its development

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The image showcases two layouts of the Southside: present day and planned development. Present day features a play area, noodle shop, cinemas, café, supermarket, department store, car park, fitness centre, golf course, and park. The planned development includes a beauty salon, shoe store, cosmetics store, gift shop, shoe store, department store, fashion stores, supermarket, café, and two entrances.

Given the complexity of the image, the above description may not be entirely accurate.

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Note: Both the topic and the answer were created by one of our users.

The given map illustrates a comparative data between the planned development and the present day view of the Southside.

Overall, it is clear that there is a significant difference in the way it is planned and how it has built. Additionally, it can be observed that there are more buildings expected than built.

To begin with, in the north-west side of the plan, there was a beauty salon in the plan, compared to the present day where the play area has been built. However, to the east of the play area, there is a store which was dedicated to sell shoes, while it has changed its category by selling noodles today. Next, moving by east, Cinema departments can be seen at present day, which was originally planned to be cosmetics store.

Word Count: 131

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Overall Band Score

(+/- 0.5)

Vocabulary Complexity:
B2 - Upper Intermediate
Opt for even more advanced words when appropriate.

Grammar Mistakes: N/A

Vocabulary Repetition:

there: 4

planned: 3

present: 3

Try using synonyms for the above words

Task Response

The report identifies some changes but lacks a comprehensive overview and sufficient detail. The description is somewhat fragmented and doesn't fully capture the key differences and overall trends in the development. To improve, focus on providing a more structured overview, including more specific details, and ensuring a clearer comparison between the present and planned layouts. The report falls short of the required 150 words.

Coherence & Cohesion

The report demonstrates an adequate attempt to organize information, but the flow could be improved. The introduction and overview are present, but the body paragraphs lack clear topic sentences and transitions between ideas. For example, the shift from the northwest to the east side of the plan could be smoother with better connecting phrases. Consider using more cohesive devices to link ideas within and between paragraphs.

Lexical Resource

The vocabulary used is generally appropriate, but there's room for improvement in terms of variety and precision. For instance, using more specific terms to describe the changes and locations would enhance the report. Instead of just saying 'store,' try to use more descriptive words. Also, avoid overly simplistic phrasing.

Grammatical Range & Accuracy

The report contains grammatical errors that affect clarity. For example, 'how it has built' should be 'how it is built' or 'how it has been built'. Also, 'moving by east' is not a natural phrasing. Focus on using correct verb tenses, prepositions, and sentence structures. Proofreading carefully for these errors will improve the overall quality of your writing.

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