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Band 6+: The percentage of households with electronic goods in New Zealand

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The image presents a table detailing % of households in New Zealand possessing specific electronic goods for years 1998 and 2002: Washing Machine—98% in both years; Color TV—95% in 1998, 97% in 2002; Computer—50% in 1998, 78% in 2002; Cell Phone—20% in 1998, 80% in 2002; Video Recorder—75% in 1998, 60% in 2002; Dishwasher—18% in 1998, 55% in 2002; Digital Camera—2% in 1998, 39% in 2002.

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The table provides detailed information about the persentage of households with electronic goods in New Zealand over four years.

It can ve observed that there are seven electronic items that were used during the two periods of time. Many goods, especially cell phone, dishwasher amd and digital camera experienced the most noticeable fluctuation during the period. For instance, in 1998, the figure stood at 18, before increasing sharply to 55 in 2002.

By comparison, the most frequent usage were a washing machine, colour TV, computer and video recorder. These goods illustrate more constant and stable proportions in comparison to others between 2 years. As an illustration, color TV remained fairly stable, with figures ranging from 95 to 97 throughout the period. Additionally, computer and video recorder show a slight upward trend.

In conclusion, the data indicates that dishwasher underwent significant changes, whereas the other categories displayed more moderate or stable patterns.

Word Count: 151

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Overall Band Score

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Vocabulary Complexity:
C2 - Complex
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Grammar Mistakes: N/A

Vocabulary Repetition:

goods: 3

stable: 3

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Task Response

The report covers the main trends and makes some comparisons, but there could be more specific data to support the observations. To improve, focus on providing a more comprehensive overview by including more data points and highlighting the most significant changes across all categories.

Coherence & Cohesion

The report is generally organized with an introduction, body paragraphs, and a conclusion. However, the flow of ideas could be improved. Consider using more varied cohesive devices to link sentences and paragraphs more smoothly. For example, transitions could be used to show contrast, addition, or cause and effect. Paragraphing is generally adequate, but ensure each paragraph focuses on a single main idea to enhance clarity.

Lexical Resource

The report uses a range of vocabulary relevant to the topic, such as 'fluctuation,' 'stable,' and 'proportions.' However, there's room to enhance the sophistication and precision of word choice. For instance, instead of 'most noticeable fluctuation,' consider using more specific terms like 'significant increase' or 'remarkable growth.' Also, try to vary your vocabulary to avoid repetition of words like 'figure' and 'goods.'

Grammatical Range & Accuracy

The report demonstrates a mix of simple and complex sentence structures. However, there are noticeable grammatical errors that affect clarity. Pay close attention to subject-verb agreement, correct tense usage, and article usage. For example, 'persentage' should be 'percentage,' and 'dishwasher amd and digital camera' has unnecessary repetition. Proofread carefully to eliminate these errors and enhance grammatical accuracy.

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