Bar Chart

Band 5+: You should spend about 20 minutes on this task. The chart below shows the percentage of children in a European country who took part in four kinds of activities in 2009. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant. You should write at least 150 words. <

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Image for topic: You should spend about 20 minutes on this task. The chart below shows the percentage of children in a European country who took part in four kinds of activities in 2009. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant. You should write at least 150 words. <

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The image contains a bar chart titled 'The percentage of children in four kinds of activities, 2009', comparing three age groups. Activity participation for 5-8 years old, 9-11 years old, and 12-15 years old respectively is as follows: Watch TV (~96%, ~80%, ~80%), Read comics (~62%, ~65%, ~65%), Play video games (~60%, ~57%, ~40%), and Ride bikes (~68%, ~62%, ~83%).

Given the complexity of the image, the above description may not be entirely accurate.

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Note: Both the topic and the answer were created by one of our users.

The given bar chart shows, the percentage of the children in a European country who took part in diferet kinds of the activities in 2009.

First of all, if we discus that childrens of different ages watch TV. As the 90% of 5 to 8 year old childeren watch TV while 80% 9 to 11 and 12 to 15 year old children of european countries watch TV. As next we discus who read comics more or less. As the 60% of 5 to 8 year old childrens read comics where 62% of other ages 9 to 11 and 12 to 15 year old read comics.

Next as we discus other activities, 59% of 5 to 8 year old children play video games. 57% of 9 to 11 year old children play games. Only 35% of 12 to 15 year old childrens play games.

As we discus the last activity, Ride bike so 65% of 5 to 8 year old childrens ride bike and 59% of 9 to 11 year old childrens ride bike as percentage of those who ride bike at the age of 12 to 15 year is 80%.

Word Count: 190

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Overall Band Score

(+/- 0.5)

Vocabulary Complexity:
A1 - Beginner
Aim to use more advanced language.

Grammar Mistakes: N/A

Vocabulary Repetition:

childrens: 5

children: 4

discus: 4

watch: 3

Try using synonyms for the above words

Task Response

The report generally addresses the requirements of the task, but there are some areas for improvement. The organization is somewhat lacking, and the language contains errors. To improve, focus on grouping the data more effectively and proofreading carefully for grammatical errors.

Coherence & Cohesion

The report lacks clear organization and transitions between ideas. The structure feels somewhat disjointed, making it difficult to follow the main points and comparisons effectively. Consider using more cohesive devices and organizing the information into more distinct paragraphs, each focusing on a specific aspect of the data. For example, you could dedicate a paragraph to each activity, comparing the participation rates across the different age groups.

Lexical Resource

The vocabulary used is basic and repetitive. There is limited use of synonyms or more sophisticated language to describe the data. To improve, try to incorporate a wider range of vocabulary related to percentages, age groups, and activities. For instance, instead of repeatedly using 'percentage,' you could use 'proportion,' 'rate,' or 'figure.' Also, vary the way you describe the age groups (e.g., 'younger children,' 'adolescents'). Boost vocabulary complexity to elevate the overall score.

Grammatical Range & Accuracy

The report contains numerous grammatical errors, including incorrect verb tenses, subject-verb agreement issues, and misuse of articles. These errors significantly impact the clarity and accuracy of the report. Focus on improving your understanding and application of basic grammar rules. Proofread carefully to identify and correct errors before submitting your work.

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