Band 4+: The graph below shows the number of enquiries received by a University Admission Office over a six-month period in 2021.

The report attempts to address the task but suffers from significant issues with accuracy, coherence, and language use. There is a major inconsistency in the subject matter: the report refers to 'job applicants' and 'job seekers,' whereas the data describes 'enquiries' at a University Admissions Office. This creates a disconnect between the task and the response. Additionally, many data points are inaccurately reported or described, and the grammatical errors frequently impede clarity. To improve, focus on the following: 1. **Accuracy of Subject Matter**: Ensure you use the terminology provided in the prompt (e.g., 'enquiries' instead of 'job seekers'). 2. **Data Accuracy**: Carefully transcribe the numbers from the visual description. For example, the report mentions a starting point of 420, which is not supported by the data. 3. **Grammatical Precision**: Work on subject-verb agreement and tense consistency (e.g., 'growed' is incorrect; use 'grew'). 4. **Structure**: Use a clear structure consisting of an introduction, an overview of main trends, and detailed body paragraphs that group data logically. Avoid using filler phrases like 'fore and foremost' which are inappropriate for academic reports.

The organization of ideas is somewhat logical, but the progression is frequently interrupted by awkward phrasing and grammatical errors. The use of cohesive devices is limited and often used incorrectly (e.g., 'fore and foremost', 'furthermore' in contexts where they do not fit). To improve, focus on using standard transition words like 'In contrast', 'Meanwhile', or 'Subsequently' to link your observations. Ensure that each paragraph has a clear central topic.

There is an attempt to use varied vocabulary (e.g., 'evolved', 'inclined', 'depreciation'), but many words are used incorrectly or in the wrong context. For example, 'depreciation' is used for financial value, not for a decrease in numbers, and 'contenders' or 'job seekers' is not an accurate synonym for 'enquiries' in this context. Aim to use more precise academic vocabulary and ensure that synonyms accurately reflect the data provided in the prompt.

Grammatical errors are frequent and often impede the reader's understanding. There are significant issues with verb tense (e.g., 'growed' instead of 'grew', 'starts' instead of 'started'), subject-verb agreement, and sentence structure. Many sentences are fragmented or run-on. I recommend practicing basic sentence structures (Subject + Verb + Object) and mastering the use of the past tense for describing historical data. Pay close attention to preposition usage (e.g., 'on the March' vs 'in March').