Multiple Graphs

Band 5+: Write a report for a university lecturer describing the information in the graphs. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

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Image for topic: Write a report for a university lecturer describing the information in the graphs. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

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The image contains two bar charts. The first chart, "Deaths in Someland 1990 (millions)," lists deaths: AIDS at 0.25 million, Leprosy slightly below 0.2 million, Tropical Diseases just under 0.4 million, Diarrhoea around 0.5 million, Malaria approximately 0.45 million, and TB close to 1.8 million. The second chart, "Medical research funding in Someland (millions)," shows funding: AIDS around 180 million, Leprosy about 60 million, Tropical Diseases at 80 million, Diarrhoea roughly 50 million, Malaria around 70 million, and TB nearing 20 million.

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The graphs show information about two medical items: on is the funding for medical research and the other is deaths and their causes in 1990,in Someland.Units are measured in millions.

It is clear from the graphs that AIDS did not become a main reason for death like the disease TB,because funding for AIDS shows by far the highest number among the other items.The main feature which describes all the information is that each type of death decreased when more money was allocated to that type.

Approximately 180 million in finance was spent on AIDS,which showed the second-lowest number of deaths at over 0.25 million in 1990.The number of tropical disease was more than two times that of leprosy,even though nearly 80 million was allocated to both of them.

In contrast,too many people died because of TB disease,so the amount of money spent on this,proportionally,is much less than other categories and amounted just about 25 million

Word Count: 155

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Overall Band Score

5.5

(+/- 0.5)

Vocabulary Complexity:
B2 - Upper Intermediate
Opt for even more advanced words when appropriate.

Grammar Mistakes: N/A

Vocabulary Repetition:

million: 4

other: 3

number: 3

Try using synonyms for the above words

Task Response

The report addresses the main requirements of the task by identifying the relationship between funding and death rates. However, there is a significant logical error in the overview where you state that 'each type of death decreased when more money was allocated'; the data provided is a snapshot of a single year (1990), so it is impossible to claim a decrease occurred over time. To improve, ensure that your comparisons are based strictly on the data provided and avoid making causal claims (e.g., that funding caused the death rates) that the charts do not explicitly prove. Additionally, try to refine the accuracy of your data descriptions to ensure they align more closely with the visual information.

Coherence & Cohesion

The report follows a logical structure, but the progression of ideas is sometimes interrupted by awkward phrasing. While there is an attempt to use cohesive devices (e.g., 'In contrast', 'It is clear from'), the connection between the data points and the conclusions drawn can be confusing. To improve, ensure that each paragraph has a clear central topic and that transitions between sentences flow more naturally. Avoid making broad generalizations that are not explicitly supported by the data structure.

Lexical Resource

The vocabulary used is functional but limited. There are several instances of imprecise word choices (e.g., 'medical items' instead of 'diseases' or 'health issues', and 'finance' instead of 'funding'). There are also some errors in word formation and usage (e.g., 'the number of tropical disease'). To reach a higher band, aim to use a wider range of academic synonyms and more precise terminology related to statistics and health, such as 'mortality rates', 'expenditure', or 'allocation'.

Grammatical Range & Accuracy

The report demonstrates a mix of simple and complex sentence structures, but grammatical errors are frequent enough to cause some difficulty for the reader. Issues include subject-verb agreement, incorrect use of articles, and punctuation errors (e.g., missing spaces after commas). There are also issues with sentence construction, such as 'funding for AIDS shows by far the highest number'. Focus on improving accuracy in basic sentence structures and ensuring that complex sentences are grammatically sound.

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