Table

Band 9: The table below shows the percentage participation of women in senior management in three companies between 1975 and 2015. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

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Image for topic: The table below shows the percentage participation of women in senior management in three companies between 1975 and 2015. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

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The image displays a table titled "Percentage participation of women in senior management positions" for three companies across seven different years. Eldan Ltd percentages are 3% (1975), 3% (1980), 14% (1985), 28% (1990), 33% (2000), 64% (2015). Bamforth Ltd percentages are 9% (1975), 11% (1980), 13% (1985), 15% (1990), 17% (2000), 46% (2015). Finsbury Ltd percentages are 16% (1975), 14% (1980), 15% (1985), 22% (1990), 20% (2000), 26% (2015).

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The table illustrates a comparative view of the proportion of female participants in senior management across three companies from 1975 to 2015.

In general, women taking senior management positions in Eldan Ltd accounted for the largest percentage, while Finsbury Ltd saw the lowest rate of all three in the last year. It is shown that Eldan Ltd, Bamforth Ltd, and Finsbury Ltd experienced upward trends over the 40-year period.

From 1975 to 1980, Eldan Ltd remained the same at 3%. Moreover, in the same period, Bamforth Ltd inched up from 9% to 11%. However, Finsbury Ltd saw a slight drop of 2%, from 16% to 14%. In the next period from 1985 to 1990, both Eldan Ltd and Finsbury Ltd experienced huge increases, where the former grew from 14% to 28% and the latter rose from 15% to 22%. Likewise, Bamforth Ltd increased slightly from 13% to 15%.

According to the chart, in the last 5-year period, Eldan Ltd escalated from a third to just below two-thirds and held the largest proportion. Following this trend, Bamforth Ltd increased dramatically from just under a fifth to approximately a half. Furthermore, Finsbury Ltd also climbed gradually from a fifth to over a quarter and had the lowest percentage of the three companies.

Word Count: 210

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Overall Band Score

(+/- 0.5)

Vocabulary Complexity:
B2 - Upper Intermediate
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Grammar Mistakes: N/A

Vocabulary Repetition:

eldan: 5

finsbury: 5

bamforth: 4

three: 3

period: 3

Try using synonyms for the above words

Task Response

The report effectively addresses the task by identifying the main trends and making relevant comparisons between the three companies. The overview is clear, highlighting the general upward trend and the final standing of the companies. Data is reported accurately according to the visual description, and the use of varied vocabulary to describe changes (e.g., 'inched up', 'escalated', 'climbed gradually') is effective. To improve further, ensure that the grouping of data in the body paragraphs is as logical as possible; for instance, the final paragraph jumps to the 'last 5-year period' (which is actually a 15-year gap in the data provided), which slightly disrupts the chronological flow established earlier. However, the overall quality of the response is high.

Coherence & Cohesion

The report is exceptionally well-organized. The progression of ideas is logical, moving from a clear overview to specific chronological details. Cohesive devices such as 'Moreover', 'However', 'Likewise', and 'Furthermore' are used naturally to link ideas without being repetitive or intrusive. The paragraphing is skillful, effectively separating the introduction, overview, and detailed analysis.

Lexical Resource

The vocabulary used is sophisticated and highly appropriate for an academic report. You have demonstrated excellent flexibility by using a wide range of synonyms for change and proportion, such as 'accounted for', 'inched up', 'escalated', 'climbed gradually', and 'a third to just below two-thirds'. The use of fractions (e.g., 'a fifth', 'a half') to describe percentages adds a layer of lexical sophistication that is characteristic of high-band responses.

Grammatical Range & Accuracy

The grammatical control is excellent. There is a wide range of complex structures used accurately, such as comparative structures and relative clauses ('where the former grew...'). Punctuation is used correctly throughout, and there are no noticeable errors in tense or subject-verb agreement. The writing flows smoothly due to the high level of grammatical precision.

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