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Band 4+: the charts below show the percentage of Australian men and women in three age groups who were employed in 1984,2001, and 2014

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The image depicts employment percentages for Australian men and women across age groups over three years: men in 1984 show 60-64 age group at around 40%, 35-44 at roughly 90%, 15-19 near 60%; in 2001, 60-64 peaks to approximately 50%, 35-44 at around 80%, 15-19 maintains at nearly 60%; in 2014, 60-64 increases to about 60%, 35-44 remains close to 80%, 15-19 slightly drops to just above 50%. Women's 1984 data exhibit 60-64 age group about 10%, 35-44 at around 60%, 15-19 slightly above 50%; in 2001, 60-64 moves to near 20%, 35-44 climbs to approximately 70%, 15-19 stays above 50%; in 2014, 60-64 further rises to about 40%, 35-44 approaches 80%, 15-19 adjusts slightly below 60%.

Given the complexity of the image, the above description may not be entirely accurate.

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The bar charts give information about the proportion of male and female people who employed in in three different age groups in Australia between 1984,2001 and 2014.

Overall, it is clear from the graph that the proportion of male employed people dominated more than female peoplemostly it remained a stable figures.However, women mostly witnessed equal or less proportion of workers rating.

In 1984, the ages of 15-19 men experienced roughly 61% and the people who 35-44 accounted 80% finally for almost retired peole witnessed only 40%.2001 begin without changes it demonstrated the same pesentege.Whersas in 2014 the figures changed almost dramaticly ecxept 35-44 ramained the same proportion the ages 15-19 witnessed a litle decline reaching 50%, but 60-64 is incresed reaching 61%

In 1984, the ages of 15-19 and 35-44 experienced almost same results 60% and 59% but anather age group accounted 10%, in 2001 15-19 is same 35-44 is rosed to 70% 60-64 is also increased to 20%.In 2014 same 15-19 60% however, others incresed 35-44 80% 60-64 over 60%

Word Count: 171

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Overall Band Score

(+/- 0.5)

Vocabulary Complexity:
A2 - Upper Beginner
Consider using more varied and advanced words.

Grammar Mistakes: N/A

Vocabulary Repetition:

15-19: 5

35-44: 5

proportion: 4

people: 3

witnessed: 3

almost: 3

60-64: 3

Try using synonyms for the above words

Task Response

The report attempts to address the task by covering all three years and both genders. However, the response is hindered by significant issues with clarity and organization. The overview is somewhat repetitive and lacks precision, and the data presentation in the body paragraphs is often difficult to follow due to grammatical errors and awkward phrasing. To improve, focus on using more varied sentence structures and ensuring that comparisons between the groups (men vs. women) are more explicit. Additionally, work on the accuracy of your descriptions; for example, instead of saying 'the ages of 15-19 men experienced 61%', use 'the employment rate for men aged 15-19 was 61%'. Organizing the report by trends or by gender rather than just listing numbers chronologically would also improve the logical flow.

Coherence & Cohesion

The organization of the report is quite confusing. While you attempt to group information by year and gender, the transitions between ideas are abrupt, and the lack of clear paragraphing makes it difficult for the reader to follow the trends. To improve, use more cohesive devices (e.g., 'In contrast,' 'Regarding women,' 'Looking at the year 2001') and ensure each paragraph has a clear central topic. Avoid simply listing numbers; instead, use sentences that link the data to the trends being described.

Lexical Resource

The vocabulary is limited and contains several spelling errors (e.g., 'pesentege', 'ecxept', 'ramained', 'litle', 'anather', 'rosed'). There is also frequent misuse of words, such as 'rating' instead of 'rate' or 'ratio', and 'people who employed' instead of 'employed people'. To improve, focus on learning precise academic collocations for describing trends (e.g., 'showed a significant increase', 'remained relatively stable') and practice spelling common data-description words. Boost vocabulary complexity to elevate the overall score.

Grammatical Range & Accuracy

Grammatical errors are frequent and often impede communication. There are issues with sentence structure (e.g., 'the people who 35-44 accounted 80%'), subject-verb agreement, and tense consistency. Many sentences are fragments or run-on sentences. You should focus on mastering basic sentence structures (Subject + Verb + Object) and learning how to use relative clauses correctly to combine information. For example, instead of 'the ages of 15-19 men experienced roughly 61%', try 'the employment rate for men aged 15-19 was approximately 61%'.

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Band 4+: the charts below show the percentage of Australian men and women in three age groups who were employed in 1984,2001, and 2014

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Task Response

Coherence & Cohesion

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the charts below show the percentage of Australian men and women in three age groups who were employed in 1984,2001, and 2014

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