Line Graph

Band 5+: The line graph shows the percentages of Australian export with four countries. The graph below shows the percentage of Australian exports to 4 countries from 1990 to 2012.

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The image shows a line graph with data from 1990 to 2012. In 1990, Japan is near 30, US around 12, China about 1, India slightly above 0. By 1995, Japan is near 25, US around 13, China about 2, India about 0. By 2000, Japan is near 23, US about 17, China near 5, India about 1. By 2005, Japan slightly above 20, US near 17, China near 9, India about 1. By 2010, Japan is around 18, US near 15, China about 20, India roughly 2. By 2012, Japan and US are close at around 15, China just above 25, India about 3.

Given the complexity of the image, the above description may not be entirely accurate.

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The graph illustrates the percentage of Australian export in Japan,US,China,India over the period from 1990 to 2012.

Overall,in the beginning,Japan had the highest account for about 26%,followed by US’s ratio at about 11%.Respectively,China started at 2% and India accounted for approximately 1% .Besides,Japan and China remained a simple trend to develop,while US and India had a fluctuating trend.

During the whole period,Japan’s ratio gradually declined from the highest exporting destination to the second at about 16%,while China dramatically climbed to the top of the mention nations,and converged with the previous counterparts during 2005 to 2010.It is a considerably increase of China’s figure in 2 previous decades,reaching 25% and steadily rising to approximately 28% in 2012.

By contrast,US remained a dropped trend but fluctuated steadily throughout the time,peaking in 2000 at 11% and it still more popular than India as a market to export.For India,it kept accounting for 1% across the first decade and noticeably moved to 7% in 2000 ,whereas decreased after that.

Word Count: 163

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Overall Band Score

(+/- 0.5)

Vocabulary Complexity:
C1 - Intricate
Strive to incorporate even richer and more precise language.

Grammar Mistakes: N/A

Vocabulary Repetition:

about: 3

india: 3

Try using synonyms for the above words

Task Response

The report addresses the main trends and provides a comparison between the four countries. However, there are several inaccuracies in data reporting and some confusion in the description of trends. For example, the report describes Japan and China as having a 'simple trend to develop,' which is vague and potentially contradictory since Japan's percentage actually declined. Additionally, some specific figures provided (such as India reaching 7% in 2000 or China reaching 28% in 2012) deviate from the provided visual description. To improve, ensure that the trends described (increasing vs. decreasing) accurately match the direction of the lines in the graph, and aim for more precise vocabulary when describing fluctuations and trends.

Coherence & Cohesion

The report follows a logical structure with an introduction, overview, and body paragraphs. However, the cohesion is weakened by improper use of transition words and punctuation. For example, there are missing spaces after commas, which disrupts the flow. Some cohesive devices like 'Respectively' and 'Besides' are used incorrectly in context. To improve, ensure that linking words are used to show logical relationships (e.g., 'In contrast', 'Furthermore') and pay close attention to punctuation to separate distinct ideas clearly.

Lexical Resource

The vocabulary is somewhat repetitive and contains several awkward or incorrect collocations. Phrases such as 'had the highest account', 'remained a simple trend to develop', and 'remained a dropped trend' are not natural English. There is an attempt to use varied vocabulary (e.g., 'converged', 'fluctuating'), but it is often applied inaccurately. Focus on learning standard academic collocations for describing trends, such as 'experienced a downward trend' or 'accounted for a significant proportion'.

Grammatical Range & Accuracy

Grammatical errors are frequent and occasionally impede communication. There are issues with subject-verb agreement, article usage, and sentence structure (e.g., 'It is a considerably increase'). The use of prepositions is also inconsistent (e.g., 'export in Japan' instead of 'export to Japan'). To improve, practice complex sentence structures and focus on the correct formation of noun phrases and verb tenses when describing historical data.

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