Bar Chart

Band 6+: 📆 15 ОСТОВЕR 📊TASK 1: The chart below gives information about adults with education at high school level in six countries in 2010.

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The image displays a horizontal bar chart with a vertical axis labeled 'COUNTRY' and a horizontal axis labeled 'Percentage' scaled from 0 to 120. The chart compares two categories, '55-64 Year-Olds' and '25-34 Year-Olds', for six countries. The percentage values are as follows: Germany (55-64 Year-Olds: 84%, 25-34 Year-Olds: 88%), USA (55-64 Year-Olds: 90%, 25-34 Year-Olds: 88%), Russia (55-64 Year-Olds: 68%, 25-34 Year-Olds: 94%), S.Korea (55-64 Year-Olds: 44%, 25-34 Year-Olds: 98%), Brazil (55-64 Year-Olds: 28%, 25-34 Year-Olds: 52%), and China (55-64 Year-Olds: 8%, 25-34 Year-Olds: 22%).

Given the complexity of the image, the above description may not be entirely accurate.

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The bar chart illustrates the percentage of adults who graduated high school in six different nations by 2010.

Overall, people who was 25-34 years old recorded the higher rate in high school education in most of country compared to the older group, except the USA. Meanwhile, China experienced the lowest number of this figure among six examined countries.

Looking closely the figure of 55-64 years-olds groups, the USA accounted for roughly 90% while its was little lower compared to Germany at nearly 82%. This figure in Russia and S.Korea made up at nearly 70% and over 40%, respectively. Brazil and China experienced the lowest number of adults with high school education with only over 20% and 10%.

On the other hand, S.korea made up the highest figure in 25-34 year-olds group at about 99% whereas this figure declined by 3%-5% in other nations: Germany, the USA and Russia, respectively. The number of adults with high education in Brazil and China represented two times higher than the older group.

Word Count: 168

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Overall Band Score

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Vocabulary Complexity:
B1 - Intermediate
Using more sophisticated words could be beneficial.

Grammar Mistakes: N/A

Vocabulary Repetition:

figure: 5

adults: 3

school: 3

education: 3

group: 3

china: 3

number: 3

Try using synonyms for the above words

Task Response

The report adequately addresses the task by summarizing the information presented in the bar chart. The overview is clear, and the main features are identified. However, there are some inaccuracies in the data reported and some minor grammatical errors. To improve, ensure data accuracy by double-checking the figures and percentages from the chart. Also, proofread carefully to correct grammatical errors and improve sentence structure.

Coherence & Cohesion

The report presents a generally clear overview of the data, but the organization could be improved for better flow. Consider grouping information more thematically, such as discussing countries with similar trends together. The use of cohesive devices is adequate but could be more varied to enhance the connection between sentences and paragraphs. For example, using a wider range of transition words and phrases would improve the overall coherence.

Lexical Resource

The vocabulary used is generally appropriate, but there's room for improvement in terms of variety and precision. Try to incorporate more specific and descriptive language to convey the data more effectively. For instance, instead of repeatedly using 'figure,' explore synonyms like 'percentage,' 'proportion,' or 'rate,' depending on the context. Also, be mindful of collocations and ensure that words are used in their correct context. Boost vocabulary complexity to elevate the overall score.

Grammatical Range & Accuracy

The report contains several grammatical errors that affect clarity. Pay close attention to subject-verb agreement ('people who was' should be 'people who were'), correct use of articles, and accurate preposition usage. While a range of sentence structures is present, improving grammatical accuracy will significantly enhance the overall quality of the writing. Proofreading carefully and focusing on correcting common errors will be beneficial.

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