Process Diagram

Band 5+: 7 steps of manufacturing and how it can impact on environment

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The image displays a 7-step cyclical process: STEP 1, Planning & design, with an icon of a computer showing a car's wireframe; STEP 2, Consumption of materials and energy resources, with icons of a truck and factory; STEP 3, Production, with an icon of a forklift; STEP 4, Packaging and distribution; STEP 5, Sales, with an icon of a hand holding a shopping bag; STEP 6, Use by customers, with icons of a house and a washing machine. Arrows show the flow from STEP 1 through to STEP 6. From STEP 6, one arrow labeled 'Disposal' points out of the cycle, an arrow labeled 'Feedback' points back to STEP 1, and another arrow points to STEP 7, Recycling. An arrow from STEP 7 points back to STEP 2.

Given the complexity of the image, the above description may not be entirely accurate.

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The diagram illustrates environmental issues created by a consumer product of manufacturing. It can be see, the seven phase of lifecycle, but the most general steps is five. The product process beginning with planning and design. Moreover it recycle how influence of people leads to consequences.

The first step it is planning and design. Then the manufacturer starts to put materials and energy resources by consumption. The next phase is production process, which controlled each section. It is clearly seen that two steps have a direct impact of environment. Afterwards, the products are packed, distributed and offered to shops and markets. Then the goods sold by the consumers. The products are unsequently used by customers, who either dispose the product or recycle it.

In conclusion, each stage of the products lifecycle impact the environment. In the struggle for a healthy world without essential recycling and eco-organization planning are the most effective solutions.

Word Count: 152

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Overall Band Score

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Vocabulary Complexity:
C1 - Intricate
Strive to incorporate even richer and more precise language.

Grammar Mistakes: N/A

Vocabulary Repetition:

product: 3

planning: 3

products: 3

Try using synonyms for the above words

Task Response

The report generally addresses the task by describing the cyclical process. However, the description lacks detail and accuracy, and there are noticeable issues with grammar and vocabulary. To improve, focus on providing a more detailed and accurate description of each stage in the cycle, using precise language and avoiding generalizations. Also, work on improving grammatical accuracy and sentence structure.

Coherence & Cohesion

The report's organization is somewhat clear, but the flow of ideas could be improved. The introduction is weak and doesn't clearly state the purpose of the diagram. Transitions between steps are not always smooth, making it difficult to follow the process. Paragraphing is present but could be used more effectively to group related ideas. Consider using more cohesive devices (e.g., 'furthermore,' 'however,' 'in addition') to link sentences and paragraphs.

Lexical Resource

The vocabulary used is basic and lacks precision. There are instances of inappropriate word choice (e.g., 'it recycle how influence of people leads to consequences'). The range of vocabulary is limited, and there is little evidence of sophisticated control. To improve, focus on using more specific and varied vocabulary related to manufacturing processes and environmental impact. Use a thesaurus to find synonyms and expand your lexical range.

Grammatical Range & Accuracy

The report contains numerous grammatical errors, including incorrect verb tenses, subject-verb agreement issues, and awkward phrasing. Sentence structure is often simple and lacks complexity. Punctuation errors are also present. To improve, focus on reviewing basic grammar rules and practicing sentence construction. Pay attention to verb tenses, subject-verb agreement, and the correct use of articles and prepositions. Proofread carefully to identify and correct errors.

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